By unusual I do not mean the good type of unusual. I mean the old/creepy/stalkerish/disturbed/unstable/mental disorder unusual.
It seems like no stable guys are interested in me. They barely notice that I exist. The weird ones, however, notice me immedietely and fall head over heels in love with me.
Any theories as to WHY this happens? I've heard lots of stories from INFPs that go this way, so is this an INFP thing, or just me?
You're too nice and accomodating and you don't demand a high level of behavior from people you interact with. People can sense they can make their way into your life and that you will put up with them. You seem
pliable to them. Also, people probably can sense a bit of kookiness or difference in you and so they think you are basically their soul mate. Basically, they aren't scared of you at all.
It's related but separate from the "why do people keep leeching off me?" and "why do I attract so many needy/user people?"
It is a textbook NF problem, moreso for INFPs and second ENFPs.
I wrote this in Jewelchild's thread about her scizophrenic customer and I'll say it again, I have especially seen this in INFPs - you need to really, really work on not making yourself so accessible for every random that you bump into in life and you need to become very cognizant of the unspoken signals you send people. And basically work on boundaries and assertiveness.
If I sound harsh it's because that's the tone you need to learn to take sometimes so that people know you are not going to put up with their shenanigans.
If you don't learn to put up strong boundaries and put more "tough" into the love you have for the world you will continue to attract unwanted and even dangerous behavior from people and eventually you will have no one to blame but yourself.
The funny thing is is that Fi is often so cold and even awkward seeming to the outside word and INFPs can be extremely introverted and quiet - and yet there is something that seems soft and welcoming and accessible to Fi-doms that makes us seem "people friendly" - and I have definitely seen some INFPs who have a really hard time making healthy and clear boundaries with people and continually get taken advantage of or allow unhealthy people into their lives.
Trust me, the reason you are attracting nutty and creepy people is because you give the impression that you are available to them and you will put up with them. As soon as you stop sending out this signal, the randoms and kooks will stop flocking to you. I speak partly from experience. Either that or you seem
hella "eccentric" to people which isn't necessarily a bad thing...
So more so than shooting down the unstable ones when they try to court you, it's about becoming the person who demands a certain standard of behavior from people and the unstable ones will never even try to court you in the first place.
Does any of this resonate with you or am I way off base?