SpaZZ,
Thank you for taking the time and courage to be so open about yourself. I usually don't take the effort to read posts that are that long, but I sat with a piece of paper and took notes on your essay so that I could make an appropriate response, and trust me - I don't do that very often.
Let me say: I'm an ENFP with very balanced functions, as you can see from my signature. That being said my Ne overrides pretty much everything else, which definitely puts me in the ENFP category v. INFP. However, I do believe we have several similarities and some differences, which I'd like to point out to help you clarify the matter.
I don't know why I have this sense of importance, but I'm going with my gut and basically making a list of what I consider to be similarities and differences so that you can see things from an ENFP perspective.
SIMILARITIES
- Need a plan constructed by myself that provides guidelines but provides room for change if necessary
- Don't like to be stuck in a place I don't want to be
- Dislike and disdain for constricting rules and regulations that hampers effectiveness and creativity (except with close friends)
- Paradox: believe and hope for the best, but have an ominous lack of ease that causes me to develop multiple plans and 'what if' scenarios
- Try to make a safe, secure environment for people to open up in
- Like to broaden my horizons, view new chances, learn new things
- Hate talking about trivial shit, except making up crazy imaginative stories
- Love cleanliness and order - if restricted, must know exactly what's up
- Imagination is the key - leapfrog thinking - jumping mind that gets impatient at other people's lack of drive or initiative
- Noticing a lack of ambition or initiative or effectiveness causes me to take control of a situation and appear arrogant or bossy without intending to. Keep the ball rolling. Make decisions.
- Love information and theories if they help the mosaic to fit in place
- People should make their wants/needs clear or stop bitching.
- Repetitive tasks are annoying if I have to focus on small detail-oriented work. Mindless tasks help me to 'zone out' or 'dream' or just make my mind 'black'.
- Strange memories jump into my mind at random, as do random books and movies, which make people look rather askew.
- Avoided people as a youth, mainly because I did not/could not connect with them on the level I'd imagined.
- Also love spending time alone to recharge because I expend so much energy to others (attention, etc.) when with people.
- Being with cool people regenerates me, however. People who 'share my heart' as you said or are 'comfortable' or that you can empathize with. Want to share feelings and experiences. Energy outward, like you said.
- Want to meet new people and experience new things, even if only once.
- Also tried to convince myself I'd rather be alone because it's easier and less conflict, but realized I cannot do that.
- Not into socializing and talking about the weather (barf) or new cars and other trivial baloney - get really excited about talking about things I like, where I can blow people down with enthusiasm when they actually thought I was introverted.
- Also loved dressing up in high heels at home as a kid and still love it. HAH
- Hold back and often feel guilty if I express too much (yeah, I'll probably delete this soon).
However, there are some differences I'd like to point out!
DIFFERENCES
- Not offended by red tape, just annoyed at the lack of efficiency and the unnecessary difficulties that could be solved much more easily.
- I tend to be very professional and quite distanced in a professional environment. For example, I dress in blouses and skirts or pants, much more formally than most others, even if I don't have to. I don't socialize with my colleagues. However, my classes are strict and difficult but in a caring, easy atmosphere where I like to ENGAGE my students to think for themselves and ENCOURAGE them to find their own potential and LOVE what they do. My goal is to INSPIRE others to find GREATNESS in themselves.
- Need much more security and structure than you do. Must have a clear plan. My diary is my best friend. (Might be tertiary Te).
- Get more pissed off at restrictions and little problems rather than seeing them as road bumps; on the other hand, I see huge problems as challenges. This leads to the phenomenon of my tackling a 20-hour project in two days or being the strength of the family in a death situation, but blowing my top in half over little shit most people don't care about.
- Ideas don't have to be practical to be awesome. If they are practical, though, cool shit! (Though someone might have to wake me up that there IS a practical application).
- Not a crusader like you are.
- LOVE interacting with others, as long as they aren't pedantic, boring, or stifling assholes.
- HATE drugs. No way. Uh-uh. No go.
- Not so hippy-dippy love flower-power, no offense.
- Working space MUST BE ORGANIZED.
- Am interested in all theories, those that challenge me and those that support me.
- Can make group decisions - have a take-over problem, though I've become better at this (although for the same reason - EFFICIENCY - damn it stop talking and get something done you fools! In high school I was especially BAD at this, telling everyone, okay, folks, just give it to me).
- I tend to be more indirect than you. So you tell people - THIS THAT - I'm more subtle, generally, though not online, because it's more impersonal.
- As a child, I was more caught up in the moment, but not nowadays.
- Big choices ARE decisions - and ones that plague me. Paradox: I want an answer and a solution NOW, but I don't want to be HAMPERED by it.
- DON'T love the tribe. Couldn't care less.
- BUSHDOOFS???? Hellz no.
- Don't like physical work. I avoid it like the plague.
- Not so sensory perceptive as you are.
- Also like sharing problems.
Hope this helps.