Just to respond to some particular points (again with the compressing):
So in reaction to a confusing Fi/Te perspective, the Ti/Fe user thinks, "That makes no sense to me" and it comes out as, "That's just crazy talk"? And they don't consider this an attack on them or their ideas?
I confess I find this thought process rather baffling.
Where does the terseness come from? Is it an expression of annoyance with a perceived Te rigid, "why don't you prove it", know-it-all-ness?
I'm not sure who you are referring to when it comes to 'terseness', but I will say I think TiFe can just approach things in a very objective, rather detached manner -- removing the emotional content purposefully, with the goal of discussing the concept only, or dissecting things in a very detached way. The language no doubt comes across as 'terse' or harsh or whatever, to some, but in many cases it's simply out of an attempt to remove all emotional/personal elements.
To try to tackle this, Fi users tend to 'trust' people who allow them the freedom to have a different POV and not feel threatened by it, nor invalidate their feelings off the hop. They get a click of resonance, kind of hard to explain I guess. Fe is (to my thinking) more about finding people who support a POV ... and that is what makes the click happen for Fe users. Thus, ideas, ergo the process of reasoning, are less challenged? Fe users are already Fe-ing each other, using the right words, the right tones, and then tentatively passing the idea around to see if it is right or not. Agreement with ideas over time make the space safe for the initial bonds of friendship to form.
I see it as Fi validate vs Fe support ... validate has more wiggle-room for a whole different bunch of opinions to exist within. What do you think?
Expand on that for me ... what feels anxious for you here? Why do you feel that way posting this particular post? Dig into that, really turn it over and over ... and I would love for you to share any conclusions, even preliminary thoughts; it has great potential to add to this thread.
I'm not sure. I think everyone, regardless of type, desires to have relationships in which they feel accepted and safe to be themselves, the less filtering the better (by that, I mean, the ability to be more open without worrying about presentation and being attacked for it).
Now I myself, on this forum, and generally in day to day life, have a pretty high filter mechanism on -- I'm constantly adjusting my presentation and thinking about it based on who I am interacting with. I think this is one significant element of Fe. There are positives and negatives associated with this in terms of building relationships - positive being that incidence of conflict/misunderstanding is fairly minimal, negative is that my unedited self rarely sees the light of day. I mean this doesn't exactly bother me - I've said many times on here that I don't see my method of communication as something tied to 'Me' - it's more my ideas/the content itself, so changing the words around doesn't bother me at all. But all of it - the focus on presentation - leads to generalized anxiety. Did I word that the right way so as to not rub him the wrong way? Did I phrase it properly such that everyone will understand? etc. Or on the other hand, are my thoughts totally off base such that I'm spewing nonsense and am totally not factoring in an element or viewpoint that I should be? (I can be anxious at the possibility of being wrong/incorrect - missing something, anything) Wanting to 'solve' for everything ahead of time - to avoid conflict/misunderstanding - creates the anxiety because as everyone knows, it's an impossible task - you can't control the other person nor really 'know', for sure, what the outcome will be.
Also I have to say... I pretty much always nod my head in agreement with whatever proteanmix writes, and I commend her for putting herself out there time and time again - she's more 'real' with fewer filters than I. I think she is misread/misunderstood constantly by Fi's. She is 'attacked' just as much for her true expression of thoughts - her FeTi way of communicating - as Fi-ers are 'attacked' for their use of FiNe. Now. Is she *really* being attacked? No, I don't think so. But, just as the purpose of this thread was to discuss Fi-er's feeling of safety in communicating in their own way, and whether or not they feel safe and accepted to do so, the reactions to protean's posting style from non-Fe'ers demonstrates rather the same phenomenon - protean's FeTi ruffles many peoples' feathers, just as FiTe ruffles others.
As to who I trust, you may be right - at least when it comes to myself and my really close friends - re. trusting those who tend to agree with my thoughts. I want to explain that a bit more, though. I think for me it is because since my thoughts/ideas are so tied to who I am, if the person really doesn't agree with them, then I see it as a disconnect. They don't jive with ME. It's not that I even don't respect their differing ideas - because I do tend to appreciate different ideas - but I'll likely not deepen the relationship or see it as something that is reconcilable. I also want to say that when it comes to thoughts/ideas, it's not even so much that I have solid unbending thoughts/ideas - as I'm quite agnostic when it comes to many things and I can see many perspectives so am unable to 'lock' into just one -- it's more, for me, trusting in those who are 'ok' with this unsolidity within myself, and my friends tend to be ones who look at things from many different angles as well, without locking into one as the absolutely right way -- I think it is why I end up being closest to fellow Ni-ers, with a couple of dom-Ne'ers thrown in.
Another thing I'm recalling that may be relevant -- I remember coming across a thread awhile ago on here about an ISFP who was trying to get over a relationship with an INFJ and he not understanding what went wrong. The ISFP was basically saying that she'd share her problems/thoughts, and that while he didn't really 'get'/understand why she thought the way she did, he totally, 100% could empathize with the feelings that she had. But that didn't meet her needs at all, and I could relate. I ended up posting, and saying that ultimately, while it's not that I would want my friend/boyfriend to go, 'Your feelings are retarded, snap out of it' (lol), the fact that they relate to my feelings means zilch to me if they don't understand why I feel the way I do, and really understand my thoughts and the situation itself. I don't want to discuss the feelings - I want to discuss everything else, basically, so that I can get out of my feelings and put them behind me. So let's go straight to finding a solution to the situation!! It's all well and good if you can relate to my emotions, but that's not really what makes me feel understood/accepted, at all - it's my mind/thoughts that are that basis for connecting, and a sharing and acceptance of this internal world. But honestly - again, isn't this the case for every human being? We all desire that deep understanding and acceptance of our inner selves. Unconditional love and all that jazz.
@bold: You make a great point, and obvious too, but what else the point, then, to make 8 threads? If for reference only, why not all 8 guides in one thread, as 8 distinct posts? Each having a thread was like an invitation, in my mind. Else, to just say - thanks - or, wow great guides? Saying that an aspect stood out as problematic is as valid a construct as praising them; in fact, both positions need to be received with an element of skepticism. How is it then, that agreement is easily accepted but criticism not?
8 threads would have been more readable/ user-friendly than all in one, and yeah, again, I viewed it as more a presentation of information. Me, personally.. I didn't see much use in criticizing, just given the nature that they were already published and all of that - so I commented on the points of Fe that usually ruffle my own feathers because I don't relate to them, but I didn't criticize the fact that they were in the guide because they ARE an aspect of the definition of Fe.
Everything hit the fan the minute the Fe and Fi guides began to be compared/contrasted to one another. As I posted in those threads, that didn't even make sense to me, given the differing nature of the functions. They're two separate functions - they SHOULD be different. The bulk of the criticism in the Fi thread was when it was compared to Fe - the Fi guide was criticized against itself - on its own ball field - by maybe a few posters - but most of the posts involved bringing the Fe bullet points into the picture. Had that not happened, I think things would have gone WAY better. I realize though why that happened - but, given the fact that it happened, the demise of both became kind of inevitable and they careened away.