i would take it to mean that they want someone who can see past their outward expression or statements that might be interpreted as disinterested or unaffected...maybe they seem aloof because they're shy...maybe they feel too much or care too much so they over compensate by acting the opposite...so...that's a lot of confusing bs to someone who doesn't know how to look.
Now that I've heard it from so many different perspectives, I can refine and rephrase my question.
I've noticed, through personal experiences that INFPs have a tendency of using their Ne to form a trail of "shiny concepts" for an Ni user to follow. INFPs can use this ability very much like an Fe-user uses emo-persuasion, and can lead a person in a certain direction like a horse follows someone with sugarcubes in their hand.
A. Do you use this ability?
B. If you use it, how so?
C. Have you ever used it as a filter with possible romantic interests to see if they're clever enough to see past the "sugarcube" and into your true intentions?
Feel free to comment "around" the question too. Thanks.
Mine:
I am moody and short tempered.
Somewhat arrogant. (Or I just say I'm smarter or better looking than someone else...but I usually don't really mean it, deep down.)
If I have a strong opinion about something, you better be prepared for me going off on a tirade about it, because I am extremely opinionated.
I sometimes get my feelings hurt way too easily.
I've often heard INFPs describing desiring a partner that gets past their "bullshit". I have an inkling as to what this is, but I'd like to hear it from you. What do you think? What is your "bullshit"? What is it about yourself that you'd like your partner to get around?
Btw, this isn't a slight against y'all. This is a concept I've heard of from more than one of you though. I'm curious to see if there's anything to it.
Thanks,
--Fuzzy
I like to put my worst foot forward sometimes when I really like someone, which though may seem counterintuitive, is my way of showing the person I care about them, because I want them to like me even when I'm at my worst, hoping that they won't be repelled by it. If they can get through all that b.s, and see that within me is an unrelenting desire to ascend the heights, that is when I'll know I found a true friend.
I'm not saying this is the right approach, it's actually very selfish.
I've often heard INFPs describing desiring a partner that gets past their "bullshit". I have an inkling as to what this is, but I'd like to hear it from you. What do you think? What is your "bullshit"? What is it about yourself that you'd like your partner to get around?
Btw, this isn't a slight against y'all. This is a concept I've heard of from more than one of you though. I'm curious to see if there's anything to it.
Thanks,
--Fuzzy
I've often heard INFPs describing desiring a partner that gets past their "bullshit". I have an inkling as to what this is, but I'd like to hear it from you. What do you think? What is your "bullshit"? What is it about yourself that you'd like your partner to get around?
Btw, this isn't a slight against y'all. This is a concept I've heard of from more than one of you though. I'm curious to see if there's anything to it.
Thanks,
--Fuzzy
BS = facade.
At least in my case.
I try to keep my nicer qualities on the surface, or at least appear normal enough to stay under the radar. If someone wants to get to know me better, I might be open to it if they make themselves open to inspection as well. And if they still like me once my veneer of sugar and niceness is gone, if they STILL like me despite all the ugly crap so neatly tucked out of view, then yay. Huggles and wubbles and all that NF-ery you'd expect from me.
This is a pretty good shortlist of my flaws also. I'm not arrogant so much as suffering from occasional bouts of elitism. The tirades aren't trotted out for just anyone either; consider yourself privileged to hear one.
Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.
INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.
Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.
INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.
Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.
INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.
Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.
*1 month later*
Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?
INFP#3: They were inconclusive.
Me:
INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.
Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.
Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.
Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.
INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.
Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.
INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.
Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.
INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.
Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.
*1 month later*
Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?
INFP#3: They were inconclusive.
Me:
INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.
Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.
Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.
I was taught that romance is a cliché.
I was taught to act like a "man". And
I was raised by women.
I guess that is the outcome of what some
would like to call a "hopeless romantic,"
because as much as I want to be
romantic, to give it my all; My past
experiences has taught me not to,
because it is folly.
In my personal opinion, love would be much
simpler without all the roadblocks.
if gold was common and easily obtainable, would it be of value?
Examples of my INFP friend's bullshit.
INFP: I'm not really into this guy that much, I'm just bored and he's fun sometimes so I don't care if he hasn't called me in a couple days.
Me: No, you care. Maybe you don't want something serious from him, but it bothers you that this guy clearly doesn't care about your feelings and is using you too.
INFP #2: I don't have much experience doing counseling or research so I'm not sure which to pursue. If I'm not sure which to pursue then it doesn't make sense to go after either at the moment. I'll see how I feel about it after a bit more life experience.
Me: You're making excuses. You're afraid of making the wrong decision so you don't make any at all. Time is wasting away and instead of seriously contemplating either you sit back and think life will just hand you the answers.
INFP #3: I'm glad to have some time off work. Instead of looking for work right away I'm going to do some soul searching and figure out what I want in life.
Me: Okay well make sure you actually do that instead of watching the cooking channel all day long.
*1 month later*
Me: So what are the results of your soul searching?
INFP#3: They were inconclusive.
Me:
INFP#4: I'm not going to date that guy right now because I have other things to concentrate on right now.
Me: Not really. If you really wanted to date him you just would.
Yeah, that's pretty much what we mean by our bullshit. INTJs are so far the only ones who have called me out on it. I think Ni helps in the bullshit detecting.