Immaculate Cloud
New member
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2009
- Messages
- 143
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
I am interested in hearing from other INFJs having gone through mid-life. I'd like to know what has changed - what functions were more developed, changes in outlook, issues of anger management, intensity of feelings, going back to school, career change, etc...
Personally, I feel that as I am nearing mid-life, I find that I am better able to say no when I feel that I am being overstretched. I also find that I let pass opportunities for friendships too. Earlier on in life, I would have used my Fe to initiate a conversation. I now find that I cannot be bothered...
Earlier on, whenever a friend or relative has been in distress (health, financial, other issues, you name it), I would have rushed on and helped out without being asked. After having been burned a few times and also after having been told in no uncertain terms by an ENFP to back off, I find that I now think twice before offering any kind of help. I've tested as enneagram 1 and whenever I see how things can be improved and know from experience that the solution I am offering WILL work, it is painful for me to just sit back and let things deteriorate. But lately, I have even settled for letting others make their own mistakes, suffer the consequences of their own lack of diligence.
I am wondering whether this detachment or this 'backing off' is reactionary or whether I am also learning to let others do the asking first. One analogy I can think of is this:
picture a swimmer who has difficulties and is drowning. If you rush on to rescue him, he will grab you and struggle more and get both of you drowned. But if you let him spend all his strength and when he is JUST about to drown, you go and rescue, you stand a better chance of saving him without losing yourself in the process.
Does that make sense? Or am I simply morphing into an NT?
Would not be such a bad thing! I have had it being told by fellow NF IRL that the fact that I am so tightly wound affects them...
Personally, I feel that as I am nearing mid-life, I find that I am better able to say no when I feel that I am being overstretched. I also find that I let pass opportunities for friendships too. Earlier on in life, I would have used my Fe to initiate a conversation. I now find that I cannot be bothered...
Earlier on, whenever a friend or relative has been in distress (health, financial, other issues, you name it), I would have rushed on and helped out without being asked. After having been burned a few times and also after having been told in no uncertain terms by an ENFP to back off, I find that I now think twice before offering any kind of help. I've tested as enneagram 1 and whenever I see how things can be improved and know from experience that the solution I am offering WILL work, it is painful for me to just sit back and let things deteriorate. But lately, I have even settled for letting others make their own mistakes, suffer the consequences of their own lack of diligence.
I am wondering whether this detachment or this 'backing off' is reactionary or whether I am also learning to let others do the asking first. One analogy I can think of is this:
picture a swimmer who has difficulties and is drowning. If you rush on to rescue him, he will grab you and struggle more and get both of you drowned. But if you let him spend all his strength and when he is JUST about to drown, you go and rescue, you stand a better chance of saving him without losing yourself in the process.
Does that make sense? Or am I simply morphing into an NT?
Would not be such a bad thing! I have had it being told by fellow NF IRL that the fact that I am so tightly wound affects them...