haha I have ISFJ mother and ESFJ grandmother too
they too have tried to help me ... they say I am too serious, too boring, not chatty or lively enough, don't have good enough posture/skin/haircolor/clothing etc. for a guy to take note of me and like me
My first relationship was an ENTP. We were together for several years, good portion of this time we actually lived together. While I was with him I have started taking on some of his personality traits. This included a more easy-going approach to life, more optimism, more confidence in myself. He was so surprised that I did not have a boyfriend back at the time that he sent in his friend to check me out, as he thought I was playing around. In the end he left me, twice, second time I decided it will be forever. This whole experience let me grow and develop my Ti more and perhaps Ne as well. I think being with him has made me more flirty and spontaneous and not afraid to act silly with other people, in fact wanting to act carefree and silly at times. This had an effect of attracting another ENTP and two INTPs to me such that 3 months after the relationship ended this second ENTP was already declaring his undying love for me, and the INTPs switched from observation to actually starting conversations.
How to deal with looking for the Ultimate Relationship. Hmm, well I was never actually looking for one. I have observed the reality in my teens. Reality back then for me was that some people in my family married and re-married, some spent decades living in not-so-happy relationships fighting, verbally and sometimes physically, and only a small portion was able to find that life-long content relationship. And I just embraced this reality and decided that this is how things go. I have already made a 'mistake' once - was in a relationship that lasted several years and did not culminate in marriage for life - and nevertheless it was an overall very positive experience for me that I do not regret. So while I am very hopeful that one day I will meet that special person with whom I will be able to spend the rest of my life, I may not get this lucky, and this should not preclude me from at least trying.
So while you may not find an ExxP significant other right away, I would suggest to perhaps find a few ENFP friends and just spend some time hanging out with them, mirroring them, trying to step into their shoes and mentally adopt their outlook on life. This has the ability of lightening up some of that INFJ seriousness and deepness that makes us look so unapproachable to other people and difficult to relate to.