I need help with criticism because whenever someone does it to me bluntly sometimes, my eyes start burning and watering and I feel like crying...
This will be completely at odds with your entire thought process....are you ready? Here it is:
Don't take it personally.
Let me know if you ever actually get to that point & how you did it, because I am not there.
...someone is simply trying to push your buttons, then don't waste your breath - ignoring them will foil their plans better.
I need help with criticism because whenever someone does it to me bluntly sometimes, my eyes start burning and watering and I feel like crying...
I need help with criticism because whenever someone does it to me bluntly sometimes, my eyes start burning and watering and I feel like crying...
That said, if someone is criticizing you just to be mean, or to make themselves feel better, I find that a good trick is to call their attention to it. Make them own it, in a subtle way. Something like staring at them for a second or two with a semi-confused look and saying, "I'm just trying to imagine why you thought that was okay to say out loud." Make it a joke if you need to. Sometimes mean people gain power out of the fact that they're catching you off-guard and you don't want to start anything. Calling their attention to it means they have to think whether they want to embrace what they said, or they want to retract. If they keep pushing, draw a boundary. You now know for sure what their true motivation is, so why would you keep being polite?
This will be completely at odds with your entire thought process....are you ready? Here it is:
Don't take it personally.
Let me know if you ever actually get to that point & how you did it, because I am not there.
What William brought out above works pretty well for mitigating the emotional response. If it's valid, then take it to be helpful, not an attack. If it's invalid or presented in an unnecessarily harsh manner, getting defensive probably won't change the person's mind, so don't let it get under your skin. Realizing the underlying motivations of criticism helps.
Much easier said than done of course. I've found that staying quiet in response to criticism works okay too. That way I do not respond to it out of emotion in the moment. Once I calm down and consider it more rationally, then I can decide if it is valid or not.
There are times when making a defense of yourself is justified though. If someone is simply trying to push your buttons, then don't waste your breath - ignoring them will foil their plans better.