I'm not really the smothering type but I'm always somewhat paranoid about the possibility of being perceived as such, if I really like someone, to the point of being too guarded sometimes. Never been in a relationship with someone I really loved, though. That's why they didn't last that long, so I'm guessing the guy would have told you if he didn't really connect with you. Meaning "the ENFP holding to bad relationships" can still be true, but only if there is some form of connection, I'd say(example : none of the girls I've been with really got me, so I never really felt too close to them.)
Hope that made some sense. I'm not really an expert, but I can vouch for being too guarded. Sometimes sharing how you really feel feels like a shot in the foot. It feels like girls don't actually want to know how you feel about them. Hence the "mysterious man" cliché. Once you're honest you lose your charm.
Interesting... I usually always trust my instincts with people, and have never had a problem with it, but I suppose he does try to be a "mysterious man" and that -does- throw me off. You guys are definitely helping me figure him out, though... Thanks! But due to my insatiable curiosity... now I just want to know more
As I've said, I care about him a lot...but sometimes I feel like all his flip-flopping too much for me. One minute he'll watch, listen, and analyze me (acting like I'm the only person on the face of the planet), the next he's shallow and a bit egotistical, the next he's confiding insecurities about me to my sister (also ENFP) and trying to figure out more about me from her, the next he's flaking out on me with plans. It's enough to give me a headache. I can handle a flaky guy that doesn't want commitment. And I can handle someone that wants to be more than just friends with me. I'm more understanding than I'm given credit for... just be one or the other! Not both!! Hell, I think I could handle it better if I didn't care about him as a person so much. Argh!
Anyways, about 4 months ago, he flaked out on me a few times when we tried to make plans... and -he- was the one that called to make them (As an SP, I'm pretty flexible, so I tend to always leave it to someone else to make plans for me). I began to get the feeling I was working under his time-line and he was starting to treat me less like a friend and more as someone to use, and I refused to put up with it. So in combination with that, thinking I needed to give another guy in my life a chance, and being the no-nonsense ST, I decided I needed to distance myself from him. He'd call every other week to check up with how I was doing or to try to make plans, but I purposely made myself busy (I can't help feeling a little vengeful if people think they can treat me in a way they certainly cannot). Anyways... to wrap it up (I'm rambling..), I figured he'd get the drift and leave me alone... but he hasn't.
So after four months of avoiding him, I finally gave up and went to hang out with him. We had a great time, and at the end of the night he leaned in to kiss me, and in what was really my way to feel out his thoughts more, I warned him about the other guy I was seeing. I'm pretty sure that just intrigued him instead of discouraged him. Because we usually have a habit of catching up every other week, and he went to meet me while I was out the very next night. Ugh. Either he's the persistent wants-what-they-think-they-can't-have type or he cares more about me than he'll admit and thinks I'm slipping away. I can't stand things that don't make sense and I can't figure out... This kid is driving me nuts. I'm a thinker... I prefer truth to tact anyways.