I'm pretty decent. I'm very good at the one-on-one, but I'm generally shy in groups until I really get to know everyone, or I'm really familiar with the group's mission. I enjoy having others around, but I prefer close relationships, and that really shows. I think that NFs tend to do fairly well because we're typically good at reading people's holistic attitudes, and picking up on minor emotional changes. I was also lucky to have been brought up by an ESFJ mom and an INTP dad, so I'm not totally at sea when it comes to S, Fe or T. I feel fairly well-balanced in that respect - I can get along with almost anyone, though STPs are the most challenging for me! They tend to be very raw and present-oriented, while I am neither.
And yes, I do think that intuitives probably struggle more with social groups in general, as a result of being a little more detached.
However, I also think that there are different kinds of social skill and ease. Se doms certainly have a kind of social fluidity, [MENTION=17051]Abbey[/MENTION]'s point about present hyperfocus is a good one. They can tend to disregard contextual appropriateness, and create an uncomfortable situation for others. Fe doms also have definite social skill in terms of fostering certain interpersonal environments. I think my ESFJ 2w1 mom is one of the most socially-skilled people I have ever met - she's positive, genuine, practical, and she can walk into a store upset and wanting a return, and walk out with her money, a pile of coupons, and everyone loving her and feeling happy about the social exchange. She's excellent at focusing on the problem itself, allying with people who can help her instead of projecting her upset at people, and trying to find a solution that will make everyone happy. ENTPs also often have a quirky social likeability - a la Tosh.0.
As an aside, I do enjoy hearing gossip, because I like knowing what's going on in my environments, and I enjoy discussing the significance with my close friends, my boyfriend, and my family. I try to discourage "bad" gossip, in terms of talking negatively about others, but I think sharing information is a natural part of any social environment, and it's better to be part of the loop than out of it - at least if you're in the loop, you can impact the information if you don't like it. I'm also one of the apparent few who enjoy small talk - it can be a pleasant mood-booster to share a positive emotional exchange with another person, and it can be the threshold to deeper communication.
fia said:
I have noticed that most surface communication is based on different memes that are almost like rituals to say. When someone shows pictures of a new baby or graduation, there are certain things that are said. When people go on a date, there are certain phrases that are repeated. People repeat the same phrases every week at their churches, and repost memes on Facebook with rarely stating what they think about it.
A Si thing, perhaps? It's true that there are "standard" phrases - I find them useful because they're little prewrapped packages of positive sentiment that are almost universally acceptable. For example, one writes "happy birthday, I hope you're having a wonderful day!" on a friend's Facebook wall to essentially say "we're not close enough that it was important for me to see you on your celebration day, but we are friends, and I wanted to acknowledge your special day, and I hope you have been enjoying it". It's a gesture of goodwill, but it's implicit that you're not close enough that a customized response is necessary. It smooths things out for everyone... makes it easier to have positive, non-awkward exchanges with people on the further levels of social closeness.