Antisocial,
I don't take it as you are being mean. We are both here to learn. I'll answer last bit first.
Believe or not, I wouldn't be crying in that room with the ten other people. Yes, it effects me. Children's deaths are terrible, but to be honest, I'd probably be too busy looking after everyone else, and listening to the facts. If it was a member of my family I probably have to id the remains as well, and arrange the funeral. Only after everything had been dealt with could I even began to think about expressing my own grief.
A child's death is a funny thing...it effects people that wouldn't otherwise be affected. It's about loss of potential, an bond being unexpectedly broken, not mention a good deal of emotional investment. It's heart breaking, and well, grief isn't a logical thing. Grief can be like the tearing off of a limb. It's the worst emotional pain you can experience. (sorry if I come across patronising, it isn't intentional)So people in that room (who I'm assuming are family members) are experiencing that. There is no purpose, it is simply an expression of that pain. For some vocalising it, and getting it out, let's them get on with the next bit of business, clears their head so to speak.
I hope that gave some clarification....others might be able to explain better.
I'm not the best person to ask about things like that, as I don't always react as I should....As much as I claim being emotional, I really don't express it well so I do come across as a really cool customer.
Some acknowledgement of my strength would be nice, but no I don't want a prize. Really I'm pretty sure, IRL, it would be really hard to pick me out as a feeler...
My point was and admittedly I wasn't clear, is that it isn't a choice to feel intensely. You do, or don't. It isn't about being addicted to feelings, or being indulgent. It's a physical feeling. I choose not express this because I get misunderstood, in much the way I am in this thread.
Actually I'll come back this....and answer when I have a clear head.
Right now I just want to make it clear, that I personally, don't spend all day mulling on my feelings. I'm actually relatively logical and clear headed because I couldn't do my job by feeling alone. I'm a scientist albeit not a very detached one. Plus you can't read stats through tears