If I'm in conflict with someone at work or somewhere where I don't have to deal with the person a whole lot I figure that I just have to tolerate them in a professional manner and go about my life. I feel no need to pick conflicts with people I don't really know/care about. I'll just keep it inside and not worry about it.
If I'm in a conflict with someone I care about, it bothers me a lot. I need resolution and closure for those situations. Disarming these situations is really difficult for me, as I'm probably not good at nipping these things in the bud. The problem is sometimes I will avoid talking about issues in the hope that they will just blow over and eventually resolve themselves...kinda along the lines of what you mentioned about your dad, fidelia. I don't really know why I do this since I know that it's just easier to say something than passive-aggressively being annoyed by it.
I can only think of 1 situation in my life where this happened and blew up completely. It was with my old roommate, and we had a "passive-aggressive silent war" going on. It was terrible, because we really were friends, but we were both silently mad with one another and wouldn't say anything about the problem. Eventually, the tension got really bad, and things exploded...I was actually really relieved that this happened, because it meant resolution and openness were coming despite compromise being a tough thing to reach. Something HAD to be said, and I felt so relieved...I had been feeling sick about the situation for awhile, and I hated being angry with her.
In a way, letting tension build and then having a rapid release is almost nice sometimes. I'm not trying to say that it is a healthy thing to do, but really, it kinda lets people see the real you -- sometimes it's very freeing to be ruled by your emotions and to just say exactly what you want and be mad, etc. For me, fighting with a loved one is almost an intimate experience because it means I have finally reached a point of complete vulnerability and I can't have any walls up. So, in a way, conflict is both a terrible and wonderful experience all in one.