EffEmDoubleyou
Robot
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2007
- Messages
- 7,312
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
INTJ's are pretty self-oriented. =\ It doesn't make sense for the INTJ, as a human being with feelings like everyone else, to be so oblivious about how the other person is feeling, but that is EXACTLY what happens. He is mentally and emotionally flooded with all of the things that have come with this closeness: the magnitude of him sharing himself with someone else, the closeness between the two of you, how he could not have imagined sharing himself before, happy that you accept him, wondering if you really do accept him, wondering if this closeness can be maintained (because closeness with an INTJ doesn't happen often/ever).
And now that he's not talking, he could either be worried that he's letting you down harsh, or, assuming that he does like you, he's thinking all sorts of self-defeating and paranoid thoughts about him not doing enough or him not having a chance. Either way he's also likely thinking about how you could be feeling, and feeling junk about it, but he is also too busy thinking about all of those other things I mentioned, and ISN'T DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. He's paralyzing himself. "Why am I not anything doing about this?" "Why do I suck so much at this stuff?" INTJ's have the gift of bombarding themselves with thoughts, even if it's the same damn thing over and over again, and even if it isn't rational. This is likely to show up with interpersonal or emotional stuff. The balance of personality...sadly, what I've stated just now is what offsets the independence and sincerity of an INTJ.
Oh, God...this is me exactly. All think, no do. Sometimes I forget that the other person is not privy to my internal dialogue and probably thinks I've blissfully forgotten them. What's going on inside is a battery of empirical tests that I subject the relationship to, trying to determine her interest level. The problem is that I rig the tests, and no woman can pass them. So I conclude that she can't possibly like me and I drift away, when in fact she might have liked me and all that was required was a little sign on my part that I liked her too. I/We never think about that part...about showing the other person that we like them, too. For being a rational type, we're terrible at accurately measuring others' feelings.