Saslou
New member
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2009
- Messages
- 4,910
- MBTI Type
- ESFJ
I think that's pretty common - I know that it's the way I feel. To me, holidays are just another day (at best), and I just don't see the big deal. I hate to make light of your unfortunate experience with your INTJ... but I can *totally* see him enjoying preparing the meal (let me guess - he was more or less by himself here, and had a task to try and excel at/focus on, rather than socializing/entertaining)... and then being uncomfortable the rest of the time.
That's the funny thing though, our holidays were usually just the 4 of us (him, me and kids). I was happy with that, i can't be arsed to do the hostess thing, its easier to let someone else do it. . Lol, i am not materialistic in the slightest, so when it comes to presents, i will take the time to buy practical items, when someone opens them and says in a monotone voice 'thanks' then pisses off to go on the computer, i suppose you have to question why you went to all that time and effort, if the appreciation isn't there. Oh well.
I don't know if there's an answer to this - it's not even a situation that's particularly amenable to compromise. I know that my Mom (who I believe would agree with you on the importance of holidays) would prefer lots of family holiday get-togethers, whereas I'd prefer a phone call (if that - holiday calls tend to have more potential for ugliness and conflict than any other) and visiting at pretty much any other time of the year. If I had a family of my own, I could probably tolerate small, casual get togethers on perhaps one or two holidays a year... but I'd still be glad when they were over.
I don't need answers, i was just trying giving an opinion from a different perspective. With most of my family, i prefer the phone call. For my kids, that is where i will put the effort in. In England, holidays are not a huge deal like America, gosh, on Boxing day, i take the tree down (well the best part is over, so whats the point keeping it up).
I intend this year to keep it more low key for me and the boys. I am going to make the effort to not stress and just enjoy it for what it is. Presents. .
INTJ's have a hard time having fun. It's like pulling teeth.
Yeah, i noticed that, but it doesn't stop you from trying though.