ladypinkington
Rubber Nipple Salesperson
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2007
- Messages
- 1,126
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
does anyone else experience frustrations with enfj's?
my husband and I are going through a really hard time with an enfj relationship we have.
there is a woman who is like a second mother to us-she has adopted us in a way-emotionally not legally- she says that my husband and I are a priority but doesn't show it in my opinion. she treats us the same as everyone else and everyone else the same as us but tells us we are more special to her- now it feels like everything she says is superficial
and is full of bull but the thing is I don't think she even realizes it is bull
she treats everyone like they are a priority- and so it ends up that no one is a priority really if that makes sense
she is so spread out that she never has any time to develop our relationship
I am so sick of all the inconsistentcies and broken promises
all of these grand plans that never are followed through with
it is like she gets us excited about all these possibilities but then nothing happens-
there are times in our friendship when we want to just spend time with her and get to know her but there are always so many freaking people around several of which I don't like at all- a lot of frenemies-that we never feel like we really get to know her or her with us
is feels so shallow and superificial
it is hard because she is so loving and kind- to complain to her feels like an asshole thing to do because it feels like it would come across as punishing someone because they are so loving to everyone-
I am impressed with how she can love so many people and is so inclusive- but she is so inclusive that it intrudes on the needed and missed intimacy
and depth
i now question anything she says- compliments and words of affirmation she gives I feel don't have any meaning because I don't feel like they are thoughtfully given- I feel like they are given just to be given to anyone and everyone so it doesn't feel like there is any meaning- it is like she is supportive just because I am human being but not because she knows who I am-it doesn't matter who is sitting in the chair all that matters is there is someone sitting there if that makes sense
I just don't get it and neither does she
we have tried talking to her about these kinds of things before and she appears to understand and acts like she is going to remedy the situation but she doesn't follow through- I don't know if she just tells us what we want to hear because she dislikes conflict or if she is really sincere just so fraking un self aware and out of touch with herself that she makes promises she doesn't even realize she can't keep- out of control idealism that causes cynicism for everyone else as it were
I don't know what to do
if I should say anything and if it would even be worth saying
she seems to forget so easily anything that is outside her world and inner reality- it feel like it is in one ear and out the other but in a bizarre meaning well but unawaredly incapable way
my husband and I are going through a really hard time with an enfj relationship we have.
there is a woman who is like a second mother to us-she has adopted us in a way-emotionally not legally- she says that my husband and I are a priority but doesn't show it in my opinion. she treats us the same as everyone else and everyone else the same as us but tells us we are more special to her- now it feels like everything she says is superficial
and is full of bull but the thing is I don't think she even realizes it is bull
she treats everyone like they are a priority- and so it ends up that no one is a priority really if that makes sense
she is so spread out that she never has any time to develop our relationship
I am so sick of all the inconsistentcies and broken promises
all of these grand plans that never are followed through with
it is like she gets us excited about all these possibilities but then nothing happens-
there are times in our friendship when we want to just spend time with her and get to know her but there are always so many freaking people around several of which I don't like at all- a lot of frenemies-that we never feel like we really get to know her or her with us
is feels so shallow and superificial
it is hard because she is so loving and kind- to complain to her feels like an asshole thing to do because it feels like it would come across as punishing someone because they are so loving to everyone-
I am impressed with how she can love so many people and is so inclusive- but she is so inclusive that it intrudes on the needed and missed intimacy
and depth
i now question anything she says- compliments and words of affirmation she gives I feel don't have any meaning because I don't feel like they are thoughtfully given- I feel like they are given just to be given to anyone and everyone so it doesn't feel like there is any meaning- it is like she is supportive just because I am human being but not because she knows who I am-it doesn't matter who is sitting in the chair all that matters is there is someone sitting there if that makes sense
I just don't get it and neither does she
we have tried talking to her about these kinds of things before and she appears to understand and acts like she is going to remedy the situation but she doesn't follow through- I don't know if she just tells us what we want to hear because she dislikes conflict or if she is really sincere just so fraking un self aware and out of touch with herself that she makes promises she doesn't even realize she can't keep- out of control idealism that causes cynicism for everyone else as it were
I don't know what to do
if I should say anything and if it would even be worth saying
she seems to forget so easily anything that is outside her world and inner reality- it feel like it is in one ear and out the other but in a bizarre meaning well but unawaredly incapable way