I have had many psychic readings (on my own, not in a group). Some were realistic, some were just totally fake! Last time I had one, it was freaking hilarious! I was on a paranormal fair a few months ago, and all of the sudden a man came to me. He was one of the psychics there and on a big screen I read that this guy had 6 different psychic abilities. Well, that man came to me, and I think I'll probably never forget this moment. Ever!
Dude: Hey there, young woman! (by the way, he was Spanish)
Me: Err, hi.
Dude: Is see that your energy is really unhealthy! Do you have any communication problems?
Me: Guess not, I just hate everybody.
Dude: Let me give you an energetic massage, to release the negative energy.
Me: No, thanks. Even if I had problems, I would rather solve them on my own. Not with a massage.
Dude: That is so sad! Because, what I see here, is a very negative energy bulb, right on the top of your heart. With my energetic massage, it can be removed right away and all of your problems will be gone.
Me: I don't have any problems, thank you. And even if I had them, they would be a nice variation on my already boringly perfect life.
Dude: No way! Sit down! Sit down!
Me: Okay... *I sit down*
Dude: You have many communication problems. People want to be friends with you, and you keep pushing them away! And then they start to get envious and then your negative energy begins to grow explosively! I see you have been hurt in the past... In your love life!
Me: Seriously, I have no love life. I don't want relationships because all the people I know are dull and boring and pathetic. I never even really wanted a relationship!
Dude: *stares at me like he doesn't know what he's hearing* Tell me, what is your name?
Me: Katalin.
Dude: Alright, Natalie, how old are you? I see you're 23!
Me: I'm 17.
Dude: *stares at me again* You said you only know dull and boring people.
Me: Don't believe me? You should just meet them!
Dude: You have never been in love?
Me: Well, there was this one guy I used to fancy a little bit because he wasn't THAT stupid.
Dude: Alright, give me your hand! *grabs my hand* Let me see. A! Aha! I see him. He's handsome! He's very handsome! There are a lot of girls looking at him! You have a lot of concurrents!
Me: He has a giant nose and a ridiculous haircut. All of the girls hate him because he wears the clothes his brothers used to wear eight years ago.
Dude: *can't believe what I am saying* So you are a very good person, I see... He is noticing that as well! He sees that you are a very nice and beautiful girl! You have a great chance with him!
Me: He's gay and has a nerdy boyfriend.
Dude: Ahhh... I feel that you will have a boyfriend in a few weeks! Your friends will introduce you to him. At a bar!
Me: I don't go to bars and what did I say? I only know creepy people. I. Don't. Have. Any. Friends. And. I. Don't. Even. Want. Them.
Dude: Ah. Then you'll have a boyfriend in four months. If you let me release you from this negative energy bulb!
Me: No, I'm sorry, I really have to go now. Give my cute little negative energy bulb some fresh air and a few cuddles. Its feeling have just been hurt. Bye bye.