hate is harsh. i have an enfj friend I like... when he's sober. i have known a couple of enfj's, and all I can say is he's really messed up compared to them. he's hyper sensitive to certain topics and from what i can tell had a less than glamorous upbringing. i can't discuss certain things with him because he takes it personally and works really hard to get his way (actually, it's not that hard when he's a 6 ft + tall dude who's actually pretty intimidating).. the sad part is that he is so soft and i can just feel him but he gets worked up and goes from an anger 1...2...3..4.... 10!!! pow pow pow.. that's hard to deal with..has nothing to do with type, he's just really unhealthy. i don't know how to help him as he takes direct criticism to heart.. i've seen him cry.. and it's just.. wow.. damn. he likes my demeanor and i think wishes he could be where i'm at.
ok, now, other enfj's.. most i get along with electrically.. with the enfj's I've experienced, they just want someone to listen to them instead of having to listen to everyone elses problems. i sit, i listen.. i care. not applicable to all enfj's as one enfj i connected with wanted to be what to told what to do as she hadn't really manifested any ideas of her own independence (perhaps due to age) and really sought direction from things I would say (and, perhaps due to heavy SJ parents who would always tell her what to do).
my closest enfj friend, i talk with her on the phone once a month. i let her tell me everything that is going on in her life. she tells me everything about her husband, family, work, etc that i ask about. i give her a platform to expel everything that has been eating at her in the past couple of weeks. she asks about me and i say some stuff but i ultimately don't actually reveal too much (usually).. I feel like she needs me more than i need her, in a way... but, i DO care and it is important for me to listen her.
in a relationship with enfj's, I believe i become pretty passive and I don't know if i like that.. i become way too anchored, supportive and loyal and while that's good, i don't know if that's where i want to be at the moment or maybe in the future, we'll see. i feel like i have an unequal footing with enfj's and i think the inequality sort of bothers me because in the ones i really i get along, i become extremely submissive and i'd rather have more independent flex/equality.