Skyward
Badoom~
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2008
- Messages
- 1,084
- MBTI Type
- infj
- Enneagram
- 9w1
This is kind of what I was thinking. Unhealthy Ni is what might be found in an ISJ. But in a Ni dom- and maybe even where Ni is aux- the problem is really more about how the Ni is used. A really healthy Ni in cahoots with an unhealthy Fe or Te is kind of like a sharp ax in the hands of a deranged person; the healthier the Ni, the more elaborate the delusion. Probably. I think.
^ I have a friend that seems like a Grade-A Prime example of spastic Ni use. I haven’t talked to her in a while because I couldn’t handle it. Anyway, she’d get angry about things and she refused to talk about it. She wouldn’t explain; she’d just say, “It’s just the way you are. It’s fine.” It got to the point where anything would set it off. I could ask for a pen, and she’d fly into some bizarre, incredibly vague and passive-aggressive ‘you-always-do-this’ rage. It got difficult to have so much as a single conversation with her without it being clear some kind of misunderstanding was taking place.
Then when she was finally willing to explain: as far as she was concerned there were no misunderstandings, it was just me trying to twist facts around because I “didn’t get enough attention growing up” so I was “making stuff up to get attention” from her. I was dumbstruck by this, because anyone who knows in me IRL knows that I would rather be stabbed with an ice pick than have a pile of senseless drama unleashed on me. Yet every time I tried to find out why she was angry, she perceived “Z Buck creating drama because she needs attention” instead of “Z Buck picking up on my anger and wanting to understand what she did to make me angry”. I had no idea where she got this, but it wasn’t from actual experience with me. Bizarre conclusions like this happened *a lot*.
My mom does things that seem kind of like an unhealthy use of Ni, too. This is something they have in common: they both seem to be entirely lacking in self-awareness (at times) and absolutely set on sticking to their story, no matter how absolutely ridiculous it sounds, how much they contradict themselves or how little basis it has in shared reality. I’ve taken to calling it Cornhol(Ni)o- when Ni is used in a completely spastic way- cuz it’s like dealing with Cornholeo (Beavis & Butthead). It’s like there some gaping hole in them, and they perceive these *magic* connections to make sense of the injustice they are feeling (the hole). When Cornhol(Ni)o takes over, they are completely impervious to reason or anyone’s take on reality but their own; and they are impervious to how unreasonable their own version appears to others.
Great post! I think that when a person has a dysfunctional Ni, they don't know there's a problem. I can get into 'ruts' where I act similar to this, but only in my head, where everything about something frustrates me for no reason, or when I just 'don't like' someone even if it's only by some subtle thing in the way they walk or talk. Thankfully, I can realize when this is happening, the problem is that it's a slippery hole I've fallen into. It's tough to get out of it even if I know what's up. In order to get out, I need to get more objective about the person (Using Se), but since I'm an Introvert, I naturally place more emphasis or subjective feelings (my Ni).