i know three enfjs irl. two of them i thought were infps until last week i was watching a billy corgan interview and i realized they were all the same person ('cept they're nicer). they have a difficult time and struggle much. they rely on Se to blow off some steam (bike rides! drugs! fixin' thangs!) and can't seem to get a handle on how Ni can really work to balance their Fe dominant function.
i think it's similar to entjs. Ni helps undo some of the tight tight grasp of extraverted judging (Te or Fe). this is needed to provide a balancing tension to life, an ebb and flow. to unwind some of the extremely taut wire and give a little slack, a little give. to let go of the intense personal identification with the judgments used in Fe or Te and just breathe them in and breathe them out until something new has arrived.
it is a lot easier for the enjs who focus on smaller battles than the ones who identify with the world in bigger and bigger bites. same for all njs in that regard, really. the desire to conquer and to impact and to make change IS the wall you keep banging your head into. it is an over-reliance on judgment or perception, an over-reliance on introversion or extraversion. the foundation is built between the pull of these two things (doubly articulated a la the lenore thomson book), that provides more realistic, practical, here and now expectations.
also, find people that appreciate you and, when possible, learn how to say fuck off to the rest. N types will dig you, F types will appreciate who you are (even if they get exhausted by you at times). realizing that you are probably the most volatile of all types in terms of emotional currents is helpful for giving perspective to the FeNi interpretations that you get from others. you are NOT defective just bc you are difficult or challenging. you know this. with that said, THIS question is the primary one you have to address as you negotiate your social identity with your introverted understanding of who you are. balancing these two aspects is what psychological health and integration are all about. and yes, easier said than done!
really tho, pair it down if you have to, focus on the people who help build you up. surely you have many of them, stop getting distracted by what you are not and what you perceive others to want so much when many people receive you very enthusiastically for what you are. babies + bathwater, etc. and when you feel yourself losing control try writing it out. try directing that into something that will contain you and that will make you objectively proud of yourself. it seems very feasible.