SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
They may be lovely people. There may be some very good reasons for you to keep them in your life. But they're emotionally draining because they have constant drama on, they get offended by every little thing, you always end up talking mainly about their problems, etc.
I've got a couple of people like that around. I care about them, I certainly don't want to cut them out entirely and it's not really even practical to do so. But I need to keep it to small doses, certainly for now when I'm feeling pretty depleted after a difficult year. I'm feeling more like spending time on my own, or with the non-dramatic friends who actually do more to build me up (fortunately I have a decent number of those.)
Here's the thing I'm wondering about.
Do you just keep distance and not explain why, tell them "it's not you, I'm just tired right now" (when I may be tired, but it kind of is them as well...), make excuses? They're the kind of paranoid people who are like "ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?? WHY??"
Or do you actually come out and tell them "look, I find your problems pretty exhausting as I can barely even deal with my own right now?" It would be honest, but seems like it could provoke something even more difficult...
I'm sure some of you are going to tell me to just remove these people from my life. Take my word for it that it's not particularly practical and genuinely I would like to keep them around. But it poses some challenges.
I've got a couple of people like that around. I care about them, I certainly don't want to cut them out entirely and it's not really even practical to do so. But I need to keep it to small doses, certainly for now when I'm feeling pretty depleted after a difficult year. I'm feeling more like spending time on my own, or with the non-dramatic friends who actually do more to build me up (fortunately I have a decent number of those.)
Here's the thing I'm wondering about.
Do you just keep distance and not explain why, tell them "it's not you, I'm just tired right now" (when I may be tired, but it kind of is them as well...), make excuses? They're the kind of paranoid people who are like "ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?? WHY??"
Or do you actually come out and tell them "look, I find your problems pretty exhausting as I can barely even deal with my own right now?" It would be honest, but seems like it could provoke something even more difficult...
I'm sure some of you are going to tell me to just remove these people from my life. Take my word for it that it's not particularly practical and genuinely I would like to keep them around. But it poses some challenges.