CrystalViolet
lab rat extraordinaire
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 2,152
- MBTI Type
- XNFP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Long story short. Walked out of a job from hell, to start a business (I won't tell you what, LOL) which failed before I started making money, and I basically lost every thing, coming very close to being homeless, due to amazingly bad luck (not bad managment or laziness I assure you), only to be sucked back into the very kind of job I was desperate to get away from.I haven't fully read through the posts, but have there been any drastic changes or dramatic situations for you? Have things been okay, but become routine?
There are various reasons to end up at that point. You need to figure out what the reasoning behind it is and then begin to revamp yourself from that point. It can take a bit of time and you may take 2 steps forward to take 1 back, but progress it progress.
I've crammed more emotional people-experience into the past 10 years of my life than a lot of people so i feel well-lived in that respect. I've had to revamp my train of thoughts a number of times. It can just take a lot of rationalization, awareness of what makes you happy/will make you happy, and psyching yourself out for that while building your form of a support group.
My worst time was over the past 5 months. I saw no purpose in life, although understanding it as subjective. I couldn't find any of the motivation or joy. I started to psych myself out, assess what i wanted/needed, and built better friendships (because that's like the ENFJ mantra) and have become more stable for it.
Back to my almost-tree-hugging self
On top of that, I tried to have a relationship (long distance, but very heart felt from my side of things) with some one, only to have it fail dismally, and am currently facing bankruptcy. Devastion on all fronts, plus I had to move from the city to a small out back town, so I'm a bit lonely and miserable (at least today) to boot. It's difficult times. Nothing I can't handle really though, but everything, my beliefs, my possesions, even friendships got wiped out in one foul sweep.
Oddly enough, it was the failed relationship that really devasted me. Every thing else I took on the chin up until then, but everything now, just seems so meaningless ATM.
So I'm reconstructing every thing from the ground up, and yeah, it's a very painful process.