I'm generally ok with spiders.
I've held friends' tarantulas before.
They're like ugly hamsters!
There is, however, one type of spider that I think I've developed a legit phobia of from a startling experience.
It's a typical brown spider.. a wolf spider, I think.
Anyway, I was on my cell phone with a friend when this traumatic even occurred..
I'd realized I had left my car headlights on & was stepping outside to remedy that...
This HUGE fucking spider thought it wise to drop down from the top of the doorframe just as I was stepping outside, and hang in the center of the doorway.
Seriously, the same moment I was walking out.
It came only millimeters from hitting me IN THE FACE.
I shrieked like a girl [didn't know I was capable of that] & slammed the door.
An epic battle to the death ensued.
Needing to turn off my headlights & rescue my car battery, I took a breath & opened the front door again, hoping it was gone.
Nope. Still hanging in the center of the doorway.
No, I refused to try to go around it and give it the opportunity to GET ME.
I went under my kitchen sink & returned to the doorway & launched an attack with Tropical Passion Lysol. And then Windex.
It wouldn't move!
Finally it fell, but I couldn't see where it went, & it's silk string was still hanging from the top of the doorframe, to the bottom, right down the center.
No way in hell could I use that door to go out, still.
So I went out the back door, turned off my car lights, & slowly climbed the front porch steps.
THE SPIDER WAS BACK in the center again. Hanging,
WAITING. FOR ME.
After the use of a couple sticks, some more girlish battle cries, a weak-ass karate kick..
and.. a big rock..
I vanquished the enemy.
That spider scared the fuck out of me. It was enormous (for a porch-kinda spider, I mean). Abdomen was the diameter of a nickel. That's uncomfortably too large for me, especially when I'm being ambushed by the fucking thing. It was not easily defeated, but in the end I reigned victorious. I did what I had to do.
But seriously, I never had issues with spiders before.. but now I get an awful, creeping sensation of terror whenever I run into THAT particular breed of spider.
Ugh.
Needless to say, the whole thing rendered my INTP friend on the other end of the cell phone utterly speechless.