AANND just to update, this is all still going on. and stronger than ever.
She is now accusing me of picking out inexpensive things in the categories that the groom's family is paying for... for example, I don't care about flowers (future mom in law offered to pay for them...), so i said that i'd probably pick something inexpensive since i have no passion towards it.
Now my mom thinks that I am just doing it because I am scared to have them pay lots of money, when in reality, I'm not really someone who can tell the difference between flowers, let alone if i have a preference if they are real or fake...sooo why not go for cheaper? The future in laws are also buying the DJ for us, and we were deciding between 2 and i picked the cheaper one, and again, my mom was somehow upset about that!
My mom got mad and thinks i am just making her and dad buy all the expensive stuff. on purpose. I said, okay, so it would make you happy if i picked up expensive flowers for them to pay for? that is the solution? She said no---so i dont understand?
I explained to her, all of the things that I care about:
The Dress (mom bought, very grateful!)
Picking out the colors (cost no money)
Picking out Bridesmaid dresses (the girls buy them, no cost to her)
Choosing the music (DJ-- the inlaws bought, no cost to her)
Photography (She wasnt too fond of who i chose, so I said, okay, me and my fiance will buy them...so again, no cost to her)
Invitiations (Ehhh i could go either way...and my grandma paid for them, so no cost to my mother)
And, really, that's about it... I don't care about a lot of things and the things that I care about, SHE ISNT PAYING FOR, sooo i need to get her to understand that when she is complaining about money, it's the things SHES choosing because she wants to IMPRESS people
Reception hall (I HATE IT, she picked it, very expensive)
Cake (I could careless and found a cake for like 50$ and she said it's tacky so she wants to pay more)
alcohol (i could go without she wants it, shes paying more for it)
its all so ridiculous
And, i couldnt elope, couldnt do destination wedding because it would end up with our families hating us so we had to do it this way