i like to think of myself as a pretty considerate person but i'm beginning to think i define it much differently than a fe user would. i think it's rude to expect people to walk on eggshells around you and take responsibility for your emotions. they think it's rude not to...or something....it bugs me.
Oh, I can hurt my S.O.'s feelings, and in so many words, he asks me to stop. And he's an entj 8w9 lol...... He tells me I am "mean" and that I hurt his feelings all the time. He doesn't point out exactly when, but at that time, he will tell me I am being "mean". I can tell sometimes that I have hurt his feelings. I think regardless of Fe or Fi, people have their limits, and they get their feelings hurt.
I think as an Fe user, I feel like I go out of my way sometimes not to offend, so when others don't do it, I think it's rude. That doesn't mean that I think they should stop however, because I cross lines too. It might pee me off a wee little bit, so I do it back to them. If I don't do it back to them, I feel as if I've given away too much, so I make sure I do. It's like, "If you can play this game, so can I", because I know that probably what I've said or done DOES affect them in some way. It seems to work over time to help an Fi see what they are doing to others, because they begin to see that feelings really are in-part, the other's responsibility, as well as their own. I'm sure no Fi-user could want anyone they love to tell them what a fatass they are, for instance, lol......and yes, it would more-than-likely, hurt their feelings to do so. Feelings are shared responsibilities, regardless.
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As far as the mother described in this thread, I don't see her as simply an Fe-user. She is controlling.... extremely. And anyone who would put up with this, has issues of their own, imho. It's like this woman is buying her daughter's life, choosing everything her wedding is, and manipulating the situation, or at least, trying her damnedest to. I don't know how far she is getting, but it looks like pretty far. The daughter seems to be a manipulated pawn. The mother, while she may be well-meaning, seems to want this wedding to be a vision that's in her head, and not what the daughter wants at all.
I think this whole wedding situation is much less an Fe thing than just a dysfunctional thing. I wouldn't so easily blame this mess on Fe lol...... or attribute their behaviors to their use of Fe. While some F's annoy me as well, it's not because of their use of Fe. It's the way they are choosing to use it. Same with Fi users.....