briochick
half-nut member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2008
- Messages
- 633
- MBTI Type
- eNFP
- Enneagram
- ;)
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
It's not just sibling rivalry. I used to fight with my ESTP brother. Now we get on pretty well. I don't get her. She doesn't get me.
It's like we speak different freaking languages. Anything I think is an appropriate topic of conversation she thinks is snobby and dogmatic and a waste of time, and what she considers good topics of conversation usually result in me staring open mouthed because of it's a. inanity, or b. sheer moral apathy. If I don't figure out how to interact with her peaceably it's going to dive me insane, or possibly to stab her with a fork.
I try to ask her about her friends but she doesn't know anything *about* them. Maybe where they live or who they're dating, what they did last week, or a food they like. But what they think, what they fear, what they believe and hope for, what they resent. Nope.
I thought I'd invite her to sensory things, since she's an S, but she doesn't like playing sports, she doesn't like working out, she doesn't like nature. She only wants to shop if she's buying something for herself (I don't have much money so I've invited her to go to a store and try on shoes/clothes, just for fun, but to no avail).
Tried movies but they don't really work, just because our preferences are so different.
I can't eat with her, even though we both love to eat, because I like real food and she likes fast food, and then she complains about being fat (which she isn't, and I tell her that if she stopped eating foods that were not only going to give her cancer and diabetes but were absolutely killing her metabolic rate than at least she wouldn't be bloated, and then she gets mad about me calling her fat even though she called herself fat and I only said bloated which is totally different than fat...).
We can't talk about boys, because as much as she gets along with them and I usually don't, she is so cynical that I can't stand it. She also keeps trying to hook me up with losers (well, he graduated high school, and he's worked at Taco Bell for six months, *and* his parole is almost up. He even believes in God. You should meet him). Maybe I'd rather be single. But, she doesn't get that, because she *has* to be around people, like, ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
And, when I ask her why she does something, or why she thinks something she looks at me like *I've* said something stupid or offensive and usually answers with "how should I know?" And I have no answer to that question because to me it's like asking "how do I breathe?"
I'm not going to say I'm doing things right here. I know I'm not always gracious when I'm interacting with her, but I'm going to be here for a couple months more and since we're in the same house, I need to learn how to *interact* with her in a civil way, rather than just ignore her (which I've taken to doing as much as possible).
So, advice is very welcome. Especially from other Ns and NFs but from all types. Just, please don't tell me "if you were nicer to her this wouldn't be a problem," as it doesn't explain how I'm supposed to go about dealing with her.
It's like we speak different freaking languages. Anything I think is an appropriate topic of conversation she thinks is snobby and dogmatic and a waste of time, and what she considers good topics of conversation usually result in me staring open mouthed because of it's a. inanity, or b. sheer moral apathy. If I don't figure out how to interact with her peaceably it's going to dive me insane, or possibly to stab her with a fork.
I try to ask her about her friends but she doesn't know anything *about* them. Maybe where they live or who they're dating, what they did last week, or a food they like. But what they think, what they fear, what they believe and hope for, what they resent. Nope.
I thought I'd invite her to sensory things, since she's an S, but she doesn't like playing sports, she doesn't like working out, she doesn't like nature. She only wants to shop if she's buying something for herself (I don't have much money so I've invited her to go to a store and try on shoes/clothes, just for fun, but to no avail).
Tried movies but they don't really work, just because our preferences are so different.
I can't eat with her, even though we both love to eat, because I like real food and she likes fast food, and then she complains about being fat (which she isn't, and I tell her that if she stopped eating foods that were not only going to give her cancer and diabetes but were absolutely killing her metabolic rate than at least she wouldn't be bloated, and then she gets mad about me calling her fat even though she called herself fat and I only said bloated which is totally different than fat...).
We can't talk about boys, because as much as she gets along with them and I usually don't, she is so cynical that I can't stand it. She also keeps trying to hook me up with losers (well, he graduated high school, and he's worked at Taco Bell for six months, *and* his parole is almost up. He even believes in God. You should meet him). Maybe I'd rather be single. But, she doesn't get that, because she *has* to be around people, like, ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
And, when I ask her why she does something, or why she thinks something she looks at me like *I've* said something stupid or offensive and usually answers with "how should I know?" And I have no answer to that question because to me it's like asking "how do I breathe?"
I'm not going to say I'm doing things right here. I know I'm not always gracious when I'm interacting with her, but I'm going to be here for a couple months more and since we're in the same house, I need to learn how to *interact* with her in a civil way, rather than just ignore her (which I've taken to doing as much as possible).
So, advice is very welcome. Especially from other Ns and NFs but from all types. Just, please don't tell me "if you were nicer to her this wouldn't be a problem," as it doesn't explain how I'm supposed to go about dealing with her.