It's strange that I keep hearing about commitment issues on the part of the INTP. I don't have any. I'm either not interested, interested, or trying to figure out which. If there is any confusion, then I'm usually not interested, but they are convinced that I am (and that I'm playing hard to get or are shy or some other BS). It's strange how full of excuses women I don't like can be as they stand in denial of the fact that I'm not interested. They are almost always trying to play the nerd card against me, as though just because I'm smart and quiet, then I'm a nerd or a loser with no standards that should just take whatever comes my way (even if it's shit) while being grateful, because that's the best I can do. Can you see why I wouldn't be interested in people like this? Anyway, maybe I should start a thread about this to see how common it is.
ESFJs I knew kept trying to "get me out of my shell." That was their number one thing. It was very annoying and they wouldn't leave me alone. I'm guessing they have a problem with quiet people, or get off on the vulnerability (it's been socially accepted that you're weird, so I can be a bitch to you) that allows them to annoy endlessly trying to get them to "open up." It's like they'll do anything they can get away with. They always try to keep up appearances by speaking highly of me, but it was always clear they were lying, and it was hard to tell what they really thought. But one thing seemed clear: they didn't think much of me or anyone else that didn't fit the outgoing and popular stereotype, as if not being such things made them lesser human beings.
Even when they started feeling "close" to me (read: they declared victory, because got what they wanted (which was nothing good and usually revolved around my embarrassment or debasement)), every breath they took made it clear just how typical they were in their thinking (they think they are doing you some great favor by caring about you). Also, any social progress (getting popular/known after winning something, for example) under their watch that they weren't involved in or that they couldn't take credit for resulted in them getting extremely jealous, and it's like they were fighting themselves to not try to tear me back down. It's like they have this very strange image of who I am in their minds (you're a nerd so you are all of these negative things), and they refuse to let it go.
They had issues accepting or complimenting my intelligence, because it was a positive quality, and they couldn't even mention it unless they found a way to spin it into "double talk" (sounds like a compliment, but it's either meaningless or an insult in disguise). Everything had to be a showcase of them showing how nice they were or they wouldn't do it or would start complaining about being used. But, more importantly, everything had to be a showcase of how nice they were while they actually did nothing to help. "And I'm going to bless you with this nothing, because I'm so nice, and now you should bow at my feet and worship me, even though what I'm doing here means nothing and means nothing to you." If there was ever a type in my life that rested on and abused "it's the thought that counts" it would be these people. It was like death to them if they actually did anything that was worth a damn. I don't know what their problem was.