It's funny because I've been in a similar situation before.
I had someone I knew at work who was almost certainly an ESFJ female (an extrovert for sure, definitely sensing...I don't see how she could be a thinker and was definitely judging). It was odd because she seemed to kind of decide she disliked me for no apparent reason. Perhaps we had gotten off on the wrong foot as our interactions were awkward from the beginning, however I was never intentionally disrespectful or mean to the point of deserving to be insulted or treated like crap.
It was odd because she was well-behaved enough to be okay when others were around, but if authorities were not there, she would be flat-out insulting, and purposefully so; very direct about it. Of course, the natural instinct would indeed be to insult back, but when you're on the job, what can you do? These kinds of people are often experts at making it look like the confrontation is YOUR fault, no matter how obvious it may seem that it's theirs. I couldn't afford to be fired.
The biggest irony is that when this person first came to the job (before she was acting like a complete a$$hole), I actually might've saved her from being fired. One of my higher-ups was telling me he was thinking of firing this person and asked my opinion. I did not want to be responsible for the firing of another person though I had a bad feeling about this person (I am very against backstabbing and it comes back to haunt you), so I graciously dodged the question. If I had supported him, he may have fired her. Darn! I'm sure if she could've gotten me fired, she'd have done it in a second!
I think you have to do a combination of ignoring and laying down the law when appropriate. These people tend to step over the line so far that it becomes so obvious it's their fault that you can check them. For example, I eventually told this person, "I'm not sure what is driving you to act this way, but I would like to believe it is good intentions." After that, the person left me alone. I eventually stopped working at this job because of a combination of reasons that these incidents may have had some to do with, but not the only problem by any means.
Later on, I worked with this person again and she actually hugged me and acted really happy to see me. It was weird. As of today, we're on okay terms, though I still can't stand being in this probable ESFJs presence. Of course, it's nothing to do with type really, just avoiding a really unhealthy, narcissistic person. I'm happy in my current job which has a minimum of that behavior (thank God).
People who act like that person are passive aggressive wimps at heart. They might talk a good game but they're little babies on the inside, who cry if they don't get their way.