Oh, such thread exists.
Allow me to contribute.
**sips tea**
This, of course, doesn't project the description of the ESFJ in my parable stereotypically but merely describes how a shit person acts.
I have several sisters, one of them is ESFJ. You know, another regular human being.
We had a family gathering, and my sisters and other relatives were having fun, small talk, weather forecast, boasting, you name it. I was upstairs, in the company of some important guests. Later that night, my INFP sister came to me, venting how much she hates ESFJ, which wasn't really a surprise to me.
"What did she do this time, INFP?", I asked her. "She was complaining about people, telling their secrets, acting like she should always be the center of attention, acting like a saint, like she's always the victim, like people always hate her because she's perfect, she denies that she has done anything bad during her whole life, she still demands recognition for taking care of our mother during a month though everyone showers her with expensive gifts, she's says she's the eldest so she knows how life works and everyone should listen, she has to do things so that people she likes like them, she has the right to judge and not be judged, we should cry a lot once she dies because she's so perfect, she hates talking to people who don't have money, the fact that we have money makes us worthy of treating people like scum, she's going to heaven, I hate her, I want to kill her.", of course, these weren't her words verbatim. Make those statements all over the place, add to that some contained anger, some irritated hand movements and a middle finger instead of commas.
My relationship with ESFJ is merely superficial, and I can't stand being around her for more than 2 minutes. 5 minutes if I'm feeling generous. I used to spend 2-3 hours a long time ago when I was innocent, talking to her about what's wrong in her relationship with others, including mine. She would agree, but she would go back to her old ways. At that point, I gave up on her. Noone is close to her. I'm neutral to her existence.
It's a good thing I'm always able to not invest myself into needless drama and contain my calmness because it seems everyone is ready to show her how much they actually hate her, and that they were just putting up with her shit because she's old, and it's not of our ethos to forsake the weak.
Nah, she doesn't know she's weak. Shhh. She will die sooner or later, she'll be buried, and they will be done with it. Her funeral will be INFP's bachelor party.