HotpinkHeatwave
New member
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2009
- Messages
- 379
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
Wow, I love the replies so far. They are very helpful, thank you all so much.
Haha oh boy. Was the winking face supposed to imply something? Hehe.
And yeah, I LOVE most other ENFPs I know. They're just..Really easy to get along with.
This is true. I find that I get along great with all the NF types. Probably the least with the INFPs.
That's weird, cos they're my fave NF's Be interesting to see how that correlates to our different preference strengths...
Good: Available, truthful, helpful, enthusiastic, adventurous
Bad: Needy, manipulative, self-righteous, insensitive
Well it's relative. I'd take an INFP over an ESFJ any day (no offense to you lovely ESFJs. We just don't click). I just find it draining to always be trying to draw the INFPs out of their shells. Maybe I just haven't met the right ones.
It's strange. I had two big ENFP-contacts in my life. Both had a very warm aura, when I said something, I felt understood. But "out of sight, out of mind", after we met (intimate) they didn't invest anything. I felt understood in some subjects, but I did not see any interest in my person. That's something, I did never understood. I began to reproach myself for that situation.
This is true. I find that I get along great with all the NF types. Probably the least with the INFPs.
Edit: so are you asking because you have an xNTP love interest?
Self-centred? Can be. Ruthless? No.Wow. That's exactly that, I experienced.
It's strange. I had two big ENFP-contacts in my life. Both had a very warm aura, when I said something, I felt understood. But "out of sight, out of mind", after we met (intimate) they didn't invest anything. I felt understood in some subjects, but I did not see any interest in my person. That's something, I did never understood. I began to reproach myself for that situation.
All in all: Funny people, very warm, can hold very deep intelligent conversations - but much too self-centered and ruthless.
Anyone experienced the same?
People like other people (or don't) because of how they make them feel. ENFPs really know how to make people feel good. And so everybody loves them.
lolwut?
There are lots of them here, but I'll still say that, while I find some ENFPs splendid, they are also the type that aggravates me most often. I suspect it has to do with some of that same "make everybody feel good" style.
Not. Even. SJs., which sounds unbelievable for an INTP to say, but 'tis true.
Like many extroverts, they don't tend to shine online. 'Tis true. There are some on here that actually make me heave.
But I never met one IRL who couldn't turn me to butter.
*but sometimes it can get a little stalky.
One ENFP I knew who was incredibly needy, and who ditched me very unequivocally as a friend ("fuck off, I never want anything to do with you again!" were her words) several months ago, because I found myself unable to share all my inmost thoughts with her after having known her for a whole six weeks, used to use Facebook to gain leverage/presence in my life. After she ditched me (at which I was, frankly, relieved), she blocked me from her Facebook, and not long afterwards I deleted my account for totally separate reasons (family plots and feuds, just had enough of them).
Just last night I created a brand new account, using my middle name and putting all my profile in French. I began to add some of my friends from the previous account. I had one friend in common with her, and by this morning I got an FB message from her saying "I just wondered if you knew this person, it seems a bit of a coincidence that you have the same surname and write in French, and he knew French, and you have all the same friends as me".
Now, why would she do that? Doesn't that seem crazy/neurotic/stalky? Why would she care to check up when she'd declared herself that she wanted no more dealings with me? Why would she say "all the same friends" when there's only one in common? What was she planning to do if I had replied "yes, it's me, I'm the same person"???
I realise this is probably more a "crazy person" thing than an ENFP thing, but I thought I'd add it, anyway, cos it is a sort of extreme version of behaviour patterns I have noted in other ENFP's, to a less extreme degree
ENFPs really know how to make people feel good. And so everybody loves them. But most fail to realize that this doesn't really say anything about how they feel about you personally. It's just their default way of being.
So, for example, I have multiple groups of friends who think I'm flaky because I won't agree to hang out with them every weekend. What they can't see is that I have TONS of people asking me to do things, all of whom think that I'm closer to them than anyone else, not because I've ever said so, but because, to them, I MUST be- we all have so much fun whenever we hang out, right? So I'll get invited to 2 or 3 things by one group that I can't make, which pisses them off, then go to the 4th thing, which makes them think we're besties again, then not go to the 5th, and suddenly I'm the asshole all over again.
I think all ExxPs go through this. People don't think I'm a flake (anymore) because I stopped saying yes to things that I can't possibly attend. Sometimes, having the best of intentions isn't good enough - just be realistic. People tend to call you a flake if you keep saying you'll show up but never do. If they are calling you an asshole for some other reason, maybe it's time to find new friends.