onemoretime
Dreaming the life
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2009
- Messages
- 4,455
- MBTI Type
- 3h50
edit: response was meant in response to your post, but not at you
I respect Fe wishes, but in all honesty why would you want the one place where 2 people are supposed to come together to be the place where you dont unite? I just dont understand.
The only thing I can think is that you feel an obligation to the world so when you find someone you have a desire to NOT feel obligated around them and any attempt to persuade is extremely touchy in regards to feeling obligated or manipulated. As we all need somewhere to be our unique self.
Correct me if I am wrong.
It's because I don't live in the "spos'da", normative world - I live in the positive world. There's no real, tangible union that happens between the people, it's just a psychological perception that a person has. However, what is physical and tangible - I make her feel pleasurable, she makes me feel pleasurable, we both share in our mutual pleasure at the other's pleasure, and that we both make each other happier by the other's presence - is amazing and important.
Persuasion isn't a terrible thing - we all do it all the time. The difference, however, is in being an honest broker. If I want to know what you're feeling, then I'll ask you straightforward - "hey, how are you feeling". If you don't answer, and I still want to know (because I'm concerned for you at this point), I'll say something like "It's ok, you know you can trust me". If there's no response at that point, then I'll just leave the offer out there: "if you don't want to talk about it right now, that's ok, but just know you have an ear to listen to you".
The decision's in the other person's court, but I've still made several persuasive pleas - our mutual confidence, my desire to help, and my willingness to respect boundaries but still be available.