For INFP and ENFP and (ESFP and ISFP if there are any here):
How much emotion and vulnerbility do you show others?
Do you think you show your truest self outwards or is this somewhat hard for you to do? Is there a inner self that would greatly suprise others around you?
Thank you in advance for your input.
I've touched on this in other threads, but its interesting to see it as its own topic...
For most of my life, I did not really know who I was, and even when I tried to understand myself I just came to the conclusion that "I'm different" and "don't think like everybody else" so I adapted to that by keeping most things inside and trying to find ways I could fit in without trying too much to be things I clearly was not. As a result of that, most people that have known me for any length of time (family and longtime friends) see only certain sides of me (not emotionless, but terms like cautious and reserved would fit well), and I do believe most of them would be surprised and confused if they understood the real me.
For those that I think may be understanding/tolerant, I've been trying to think of subtle (and sometimes less subtle) ways to give hints to them that there is a side of me they may not know exists in hopes that it may lead to more interesting and meaningful conversations with them.
When dealing with strangers that have no connection to existing friends, acquaintances or family, I find I can be a lot more open with them (vulnerability), but I still need to have a sense that the person I'm talking to would understand me and what I have to say, and I'm still not very emotionally expressive in any situation where I don't have near complete trust of the person I'm talking to (and pretty much has to be a one to one situation too). I think I do a better job showing emotion through written word than I do expressing it in person, at least it feels more comfortable to me to try to express things in writing than through speaking, so I think I'm a lot more emotionally open on forums and e-mail than I am in person.
When trying to meet new people and make new friends or acquaintances (strangers that I expect to see and talk to again). I'm somewhere in between, I'm still cautious, but I try to be receptive to questions and let the others set the pace for getting to know me and am fairly open, but only about things that I'm asked about. I also try to be a bit more emotionally expressive in those environments, but its something I've suppressed/repressed for so many years, sometimes I still feel a lot more rigid than I'd like to be.