Has anyone asked why they seem so hard to find?
And if they're just not about. Why?
I think I may have said this before, but I'm not sure.
I'm beginning to distinguish between the different types of Fe and the various ways Fe can manifest itself. I know most people conceive of Fe as being manners, etiquette, and nurturing behavior but I've met and work with a sizable portion of EFJs (mostly ESFJs) that this doesn't seem to manifest itself in a typical way. I'm using ESFJs as a contrast because they're also Fe dominate and I find it's easier to describe with ESFJs because they're more abundant and it may be easier to spot. I'm not sure if this is an ESFJ thing or an ENFJ thing.
I'd love to hear
ENFJs and ESFJs describe how they experience Fe, but sometimes I find Fe to be like water. Ubiquitous and tasteless
in the sense of lacking the physical sense of taste, odor, or smell. It's like a base, you can add flavor to it and it can become any type of drink you want it to be. Fe is very absorbent and reflective and takes on the qualities of it's environment. So I have quite a few ESFJs at my job who's Fe looks colorless. I can only base this on their workplace behavior but I try to take situations where we're relaxed as more of a basis for this.
With a couple of them I think I've figured out their type because I do see the need to connect with others, the emotional expressiveness, and natural calibration with their environment. They seem very current and trendy, almost SP-like, and their Si mostly comes through as factual knowledge retention and reminiscing but not necessarily traditional, kinda like pure_mercury. I think age also has a lot to do with it, because most of them are between 25 and 33 so maybe more stereotypical Fe characteristics will show up later in life. Also, I'm in the DC area and many people around here tend to be more educated so stereotypical Si traits may not be as obvious.
These Fe dominants are harder to identify because they're not baking cookies and changing diapers, tend to be more sarcastic and wry than motherly/fatherly, not really fluffy, but they're very social and seem to pick up social cues quickly. And when I think about it further, you really can't have social harmony without some ability to be mutable. I'm not saying this is a go with the flow attitude, because that's more of an FP thing than FJ, just more of an ability to sublimate yourself.
Contrast this with IFPs (or FPs in general) who have a tendency to be more constantly "themselves" through situations and different groups vs. EFJs (or FJs in general) who tend to change from group to group or situation. This sometimes gets EFJs called two-faced and fake when I think it's just Fe incorporating that particular group's values or behaviors and displaying to harmonize. I also think this is what gives TPs their charming abilities (if they choose to develop them). I don't want this to sound like mindless conformity because it's not. It's so easy to pin that label on Fe.
I say all this because I'm just trying to isolate some components of Fe that I see rarely discussed in type descriptions. Mainly, I think could be a reason why it's so hard to identify ENFJs because you have this natural Fe reflectiveness and that's got Ni behind it and not all manifestations Ni are eccentric and bizarre. I don't know any ENFJs besides the ones on the forum and we're all very different people. The best example I can give is if you read how Lookin4 describes how she navigates her workplace through a mixture of drive, enthusiasm, charm, perceptiveness, and strategy. And it's easier to find examples of manipulative ENFJs than others.
Here's another character I think is ENFJ (but she's kinda bad
). Nicole Kidman's character, Suzanne in
To Die For.
Television brings out the best in peopleor at least that's what Suzanne Stone believes. Like some High Priestess of the Holy Mother Tube, her faith in the sanctifying power of the video camera is absolute and unshakable. If only more people were on TV, she says, then there would be more good in the world. "Because, after all, what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if no one's watching?"
The heroine of Gus Van Sant's deadly funny media satire "To Die For," Suzanne is kind of like a cross between Diane Sawyer and Rupert Pupkin, Robert De Niro's celebrity-obsessed psychopath in Martin Scorsese's "King of Comedy." Suzanne (Nicole Kidman) isn't just evil with a human face she's evil with a stunning face and body. That she will inevitably cash in on her assets and rise to electronic superstardom isn't an issue; it's just a question of when. And how.
And here's another ENFJ (???) Emily Mortimer's character, Karen in
Lars and the Real Girl (I think Dagmar is an INFJ)