I work out because
- If I don't, my mind doesn't work as well
- If I don't, I have too many emotions, but not even the intense, inspiring kind - the muddled, frenetic kind. Like a voice speaking in the background clouding a conversation - except that I don't think or emote in words, so it ends up more like a sense of something lingering. When I work out, that gets purged.
- I work out to rage music, and workouts are a time to indulge the mixes and albums I have on my ipod. In the past I had a collection of mix tapes that I took along on long walks and those mixes were like a diary or a ritual; they marked times in my life. The making of them and using of them was cathartic and a form of self-expression as well as a formula to handle the hardships of life. It works best when I'm alone, in my headphones, and also when my blood is pumping.
- Ideas for novels and music come to me when my blood is pumping. I'm glad for the iphone because now I can write them down while I'm on the elliptical, taking a walk or between sets.
- I want to look hot for photo shoots, video shoots, and shows
- If I am into a guy, I want to look my best for him
I haven't worked out much this past two years - bad Animal. I plan to start again soon. Things that motivate me to never skip a workout:
- Limerence
- Having shows & photo shoots & video shoots on the calendar
I should still go back to working out though, because I'm writing a book and my mind will work more effectively. This two years have been very rough and I've been working out less often but I still can't go that long without it because too much pent up internal drama needs to be released.
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Aside from working out, the effort I put into my appearance is more.. maintenance. Everything is about looking good one day in the future when it's necessary.
- Hair. I take great care of my hair, which falls out from my illness. I take all my vitamins, give it oil treatments, use good SLS free products, and a longer list to try to keep my hair from all falling out. But taking care of my hair means NOT ironing, curling, drying, or washing it every day. So it might not look good day to day but that's okay; I can throw it in a pony tail. I need it to be there so that when I have a show, photoshoot or video shoot, I will have something to work with.
- Skin. I wash my face with hot water, soap it and wash it off with cold; then moisturize. Usually twice a day. I wear sunblock and try to stay out of bright sun or wear a hat to shade my face. However I only wear makeup on stage, photoshoots or video shoots. But even then , I have been on stage since I was a kid and I have yet to EVER wear foundation. In professional theater I used to tell the makeup people I don't wear foundation, period. It ruins my skin. Eye makeup and lipstick and blush is okay. Occasionally I wear eye makeup and lipstick off stage to look good for a guy but this is very rare. I keep my skin nice so that makeup isn't necessary.
- Clothes. I spend money on costumes for my shows and videos, but I rarely spend much on clothes I will wear day to day. I need to feel right in what I'm wearing; it needs to express who I am. My taste used to be a bit wilder, but I know how to cut corners and be creative. For instance, sewing panels into my jeans, sewing shoelaces that cross-hatch up the sides. I find ways to express myself inexpensively. The only time I'm willing to drop real money for clothes is costumes/ stage wear, as my money is all investment for my creative endeavors. I don't tend to wear stage wear day to day because I wear white on stage and don't want my dresses to get messed up. My clothes off stage are still expressive - home made, rockstar clothes, cut off sleeves or collars because I don't like to be confined, etc. But they are never expensive and I don't have that many clothes that aren't stage/photo wear. I don't mind wearing the same jeans every day if they fit well. I don't mind wearing the same shoes for years and years. I also don't wear high heels or anything uncomfortable except for show/photo purposes. I like being able to move; I value my agility.