To put it mildly, ENFP's REQUIRE development of tertiary Te to effectively function in the real world. So ya, you probably DO see ENFP's that have started to develop this.. and they are like "holy shit! I am not doomed to be a crazed lunatic! I have found a way to bring these ideas to fruition!"
yeah it's true. Te helps us not be doomed to be crazy cat people.
In matters of organizing and management I can understand that. Still its not really Te you need for that, because for example entps can become good at that aswell and can function in the world properly and they dont have Te. So there needs to be something deeper involved.
well sure, but ENTPs have Ti aux. it's not
Te that's important, it's T at all. but we'd drown in introversion if we had both Ti and Fi.
I often read enfps saying that "they'll put the matter down with Te". The thing tho is that Te isnt really like a flaming sword of subjectivity, no its quite the contrary. its an element you use to try to shed light on things objectively and usually its not intended to be used as a weapon. Therefore I see a dangerous mix up between Fi and Te for enfps here. While intjs prolly would promote putting things down with force and the enfp is likely to be made their little pawn, the problem persists that when the enfp would be left alone, he'd lack the defensive backup by the intj. This could be a problem when he hasnt focussed until then on the really important thing which is Fi.
sure.
but it's like an INTJ wielding Fi led by Te, or any other type leading their tert with their aux - it's dangerous because their tert isn't well developed, and their aux isn't even that well developed either. the blind leading the blind, if you will. think of an ENTP wielding messy Fe led by Ti - not pretty.
and sometimes we really
have to use Te, or we'd be so bogged down in emotion that we'd never get anything done, and we'd never be able to move on from things. Fi is good, but sometimes it's a lot to handle - i often think of it like a wild horse, and it needs to be reined in sometimes. paying too much attention to Fi hurts us as much as not paying enough attention to Fi. Te helps organize all the crap Ne brings in, as well. Fi organizes internally but we need Te to give the world back something coherent. it's also rare that i think i've used very strong Te without attending to Fi. it's usually a last-ditch thing - like yelling at someone because they're hurting you so much emotionally you just can't take it anymore.
i think in general it's called our "relief" function for a reason, lol - it really does relieve us when the weight of the world gets too heavy. also, ENFPs tend to talk about themselves a lot in general, especially the things we find great and unusual about ourselves, so i'm not really surprised we talk about it
as for being pawns, lol - most ENFPs can tell you they can damn well hold their own - and one of the reasons we tend to like INTJs is because INTJs recognize that about us, even though they tease us. i seem to remember some study saying ENFPs are - aha - "Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources". we're pretty resilient, generally.
I am envious that I wont be ever accepted in the enfp-intj club, still I like to expand my knowledge of the World.
so THAT'S what this is about
My encounters with enfps have been not so good so far. Usually enfps are genuinely interested in people and start to ask you some questions if they want to get to know you. Those questions are most often not questions like "what is the value of pi ?", which I can answer, but questions like "How did you feel when XY happened", which I most often cant answer. Besides that question, I have encountered enfps often asking me out on my reallife and important decisions, like "do you feel good at your job?". I dont like those questions as well cause I am very restless and its hard to make me feel good at anything. I basically like my conversations impersonal, professional and factual so I can avoid thinking too much about myself.
well that's not really the ENFP's problem, though, is it? that you have trouble answering their questions and don't like thinking about yourself? i mean, they probably think they're helping you. my INTP dad once said to me, "i don't really care that much about being 'happy'" - it was like
to me. he cares about mental engagement, music, good food, etc, but he doesn't think of it in the same emotional terms i do. i was super concerned about figuring out how to help him be "happy" but he already was
content. i didn't know others thought like that. if an ENFP asks what you felt, just say you're not great with emotions and tell them what you
think. i mean, we're pretty easygoing, as far as wanting specifics - most ENFPs aren't going to care if you really answer a question exactly as it was worded. i'm sure they'll be interested to hear your thoughts about a situation.
Which is another problem, I generally take things at face value, I have tho experienced often with enfps that they rephrase what they originally said and then rephrase the second thing as well. I cant work with people like that cause I wont gain trust in their abilities. On the contrary I am growing very mistrusting of their nature and competence over time and I suspect enfps feel that, which alienates us more.
ah. the rephrasing is probably because we understand things in big "concepts", instead of specific words. what you'll find, though, is the changing words will
always be anchored around a coherent idea. if you don't know what they're trying to say, ask what's
most important about what they're saying, and they'll give you the "essence" of what they're talking about. to me it's very frustrating when people want me to remember exact specific words... i have no memory for that... and each single word can have so many different meanings! so does it matter if i scramble the words a bit, as long as i have the central concept? i do not think it usually does...
- I have read enfps often talking about their Te on forums, often speaking of the function as a conflict solver or management / organizing utility; I think tho that Te is more the capability to be able to interprete the world objectively as much as possible and to isolate ones personal feelings on costs of individuality
maybe true in a "pure" sense, but for an ENFP that ability to disconnect
is what allows us to solve conflict and organize. it's my ability to detach myself from the F matters of a situation that allows me to say "this is what's important first", and act on that, and not get caught up in all the messy details.
i hope that helps give explanations to what you are thinking?