this is excellent, very helpful. so what are some good ways for an enfp to develop & exercise their Fi? i am obsessed with this topic, i apologize- i actually lived like a hermit for a year in attempts to accelerate my Fi - - i can't tell if my Fi is well developed or not . . . i feel like it has to be nourished / cultivated / maintained on a daily basis . . . or it could slowly slip away overtime & that terrifies me.
Well, I think that Fi is always there, but needs the help of Ne and Te to ground it.
For example, immature Fi would seem irrational and blind to outsiders. It needs to be guided and tamed by the ENFP's extraverted (objective) functions.
I think the answer is Si, not Fi. (This is this week's theory...)
I think the Si allows for to maintain a historical record of where using too much Ne, Fi, or Te or using them out of wack, fucked you over.
If you live too much in Ne, you never reflect back on the past.
If you use too much Te you seem mean.
NeTe together is impatient, can be mean, but can be effective.
NeFi alone seems very childlike and airheaded, but sweet.
As I watch my kid-an enfp-he developed Ne at birth, and had a sense of Fi. By eighteen months his Te grew in as severe temper tantrums, anger, rage, and getting kicked out of three daycare centers.
Not until puberty-12 or so-did Fi really start to finish development. Suddenly he became very caring and sweet. Total airhead but very kind.
My Fi comes and goes in waves. Somedays I cant find it at all. However Te is always there. I think I skipped that puberty step I have seen my son go through, as I didnt really have people I could trust Fi with. I just made Te stronger and stronger.
Fi is still very much there, but is like a bucket of molten lava. When it gets out it is kinda messy. It also is exceptionally sensitive. To offer Fi emotional connections to a person is terrifying. To have it rejected, very painful.
Yet with each round of this offering/rejection I figure out how the cycle works via Te-record via Si-and that eventually the pain and sadness will pass. So each time the pendulum swings less and I remain more centered.
You start by getting a baseline. Watching how others interact, and respond to each other. You notice how different personalities have different priorities and how those clash and harmonize with other people's priorities. And from that, you can ask yourself the question how you as a person fit into that system. What's important to you? What do you prioritize? How do you feel about the situation they're debating? Without having to tell them about it, just ask yourself that. How come it differs from the other person's pov? Can you see where they're coming from? And why they are thinking differently about it than you? This will allow you to sharpen and outline your values more and pinpoint what value is important in which situation and when it can take a backseat. And it will give you security in the fact that those are in fact values you want to stand up for, and at the same time give you the insight you need in others to value what they are standing up for. Your emotional responses triggered by insecurity and self-doubt will lessen and you'll be more understanding to others, more accomodating without forgetting who you are and what your priorities are.
This sounds very good-Could the bold be Si, the underlined Te and the italicized Fi? Thus they all work together in unity?
you sound really judgemental
I still make sex jokes, and burped out loud until my mom made me stop...recently in my late twenties. I've never really cared for fart jokes, though.
Oh...P.S....it is my personal belief that the "airheaded" quality you observe is in ENFPs lacking development in Te, not Fi.
I make can be quite inappropriate at times-I think this may also be a lack of Fe. Social convention is a odd concept.