Prime
New member
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2009
- Messages
- 61
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 4w5
While I'm not a big fan of manipulation, sometimes it's necessary in order to result in a desirable outcome. Manipulation can be used for good.
I hang out with an INFJ-ESTP couple and sometimes I manipulate situations that would yield results that make everyone happy. For a simple, non-serious example: picking restaurants.
This INFJ woman manifests her indirect nature as indecisiveness, whereas this ESTP man is genuinely indecisive. Outcome: nothing ever happens. However, when ESTP dude makes a suggestion, I'm able to pick up the vibes of INFJ girl. I can tell when a "yes" means "hell no." If it's going to bother her, I'll turn into a tyrant and demand on going somewhere else (somewhere she would prefer to go). Basically, I'll flip my personality around in order to E her I and J his P.
Why? Well, if the restaurant sucks (they never do), the ESTP can blame me for making a bad choice while the INFJ wouldn't have to feel any guilt. On the other hand, if things go well, everybody's happy. It saps a lot of energy from me, but so does cold INFJ silence.
Just by asking that question, any manipulation you may do is probably not malicious. Being conscious of an action you associate a negative connotation with may mean you already approach people and situations with a lot of thought. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
I hang out with an INFJ-ESTP couple and sometimes I manipulate situations that would yield results that make everyone happy. For a simple, non-serious example: picking restaurants.
This INFJ woman manifests her indirect nature as indecisiveness, whereas this ESTP man is genuinely indecisive. Outcome: nothing ever happens. However, when ESTP dude makes a suggestion, I'm able to pick up the vibes of INFJ girl. I can tell when a "yes" means "hell no." If it's going to bother her, I'll turn into a tyrant and demand on going somewhere else (somewhere she would prefer to go). Basically, I'll flip my personality around in order to E her I and J his P.
Why? Well, if the restaurant sucks (they never do), the ESTP can blame me for making a bad choice while the INFJ wouldn't have to feel any guilt. On the other hand, if things go well, everybody's happy. It saps a lot of energy from me, but so does cold INFJ silence.
Because if I do, it's not intentional.
Just by asking that question, any manipulation you may do is probably not malicious. Being conscious of an action you associate a negative connotation with may mean you already approach people and situations with a lot of thought. I wouldn't worry about it too much.