oneandonly
New member
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2014
- Messages
- 109
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
INFJ problem...? laughing... before the punchline to the joke.
Any chance she leans towards ENFJ? The really hard-core Ni-doms can be quite disassociated especially when subjected to pain in life. Does she ever go from intensely experiential to very detached? That tends to be an issue for INFJs.
That’s true. Thank you.
I understand she’s caring even more than the emotions she shows.
She wants me to be the same, but I can’t simply get upset like her, I have cool nerves..
I know as a kid I owe my parents. So I sometimes want to act emotionally. But it’s too fake.
This may be an internet thing, or possibly an INFJ thing for some, but I generally have a track record of being rather difficult to insult because it is important to me to adapt to others' style of communication.May I ask you INFJ females, why do you turn my words into insults I don’t mean?
I swear I don’t mean anything bad.. *face palm*
Hmmm, I actually don’t express my opinions infant of her anymore.. It never works out.Any chance she leans towards ENFJ? The really hard-core Ni-doms can be quite disassociated especially when subjected to pain in life. Does she ever go from intensely experiential to very detached? That tends to be an issue for INFJs.
Not knowing a specific individual is limiting in knowing how to respond to your questions about INFJs, but generally to communicate effectively with an INFJ, I would say to be clear and direct, but to give the INFJ plenty of time to process what you have said. Demanding a response right away can be a problem if the person is quite introverted.
No, in real life, e.g. when I say today I’m tired..This may be an internet thing, or possibly an INFJ thing for some, but I generally have a track record of being rather difficult to insult because it is important to me to adapt to others' style of communication.
Hmmm, I actually don’t express my opinions infant of her anymore.. It never works out.
So when she asks me I only answer with the basic words like: “Yes, I do.†“No, I don’t.†“I like thatâ€
or “I don’t like that.â€
As she loves me, she wants to get close to me.
I also love too, but if I talk my mind, she misunderstands.
And if I chose to remain silent for her own good, she get’s sad, thinking I avoid her.
She almost ask me to have an Fe. Almost to change who I am.
When nothing’s wrong with me.
She keeps hurting herself using my words, and I don’t want to.
I never hurt her, I am impressed how she gets painful things out of me.
No, in real life, e.g. when I say today I’m tired..
She overthinks to find double meanings that could hurt her.
She’d think I’m annoyed of her.
I am really sorry to hear that, and realize that would be incredibly frustrating. Oftentimes when people have an inappropriate response to a current situation it is because at some point in the past the reaction did fit with their interactions and situations. When people encounter a really painful experience they can keep re-mapping it to reality, keep reliving it, whether it fits with the present situation or not.Hmmm, I actually don’t express my opinions infant of her anymore.. It never works out.
So when she asks me I only answer with the basic words like: “Yes, I do.†“No, I don’t.†“I like thatâ€
or “I don’t like that.â€
As she loves me, she wants to get close to me.
I also love too, but if I talk my mind, she misunderstands.
And if I chose to remain silent for her own good, she get’s sad, thinking I avoid her.
She almost ask me to have an Fe. Almost to change who I am.
When nothing’s wrong with me.
She keeps hurting herself using my words, and I don’t want to.
I never hurt her, I am impressed how she gets painful things out of me.
No, in real life, e.g. when I say today I’m tired..
She overthinks to find double meanings that could hurt her.
She’d think I’m annoyed of her.
Ha. This is good advice and opposite to some of what I said. If you do approach things head-on, I suggest waiting until she is in a calm mood and not when she is in the middle of a dark mindset.Might I suggest establishing some boundaries with her? Something simple like, "You know I love you, and I know you love me. Therefore please don't take my words and twist them into meaning that I don't love you. Don't you see how much that hurts both you and me, especially when we both know that twisted meaning is not true?"
With close family and friends, these kinds of things are best dealt with head on, instead of by avoidance. We can generally avoid strangers, but we can't avoid those with whom we are close. That means facing the painful things head on in a positive and constructive way, calmly, without drama, with all possible emotional sincerity. Drama arises from avoiding such talks, as the avoided topic will arise again and again in slippery ways until it is finally addressed in the open.
Might I suggest establishing some boundaries with her? Something simple like, "You know I love you, and I know you love me. Therefore please don't take my words and twist them into meaning that I don't love you. Don't you see how much that hurts both you and me, especially when we both know that twisted meaning is not true?"
With close family and friends, these kinds of things are best dealt with head on, instead of by avoidance. We can generally avoid strangers, but we can't avoid those with whom we are close. That means facing the painful things head on in a positive and constructive way, calmly, without drama, with all possible emotional sincerity. Drama arises from avoiding such talks, as the avoided topic will arise again and again in slippery ways until it is finally addressed in the open.