amelie
New member
- Joined
- May 23, 2009
- Messages
- 110
- MBTI Type
- XNFJ
I'm wondering if this is an I thing or an NF thing or what...
I've seen several NFJ's talk on the board about others thinking that we regard them as besties when we are just being nice, and then suddenly, you have a problem. So I'm figuring that's kind of normal for my type. But recently, I've been pretty stunned at some of the assumptions my friends (not good friends, mind you, but people I hang out with) make about me. For example, that I never drink alcohol, and that I'm very conservatively religious.
Both of those things are laughably untrue (not that there is anything wrong with either one, but they totally are not me). I only discovered this when I found out that my "friends" were drinking and trying to avoid letting me see them drinking, and then finally they offered me a virgin drink. I have friends I have happy hours and things with - but they are my really close friends. I think it's bizarre that these people would make an assumption without asking me about it, but I also just think it's very odd to know someone for a couple of years and have them know so little about who I really am.
I'm so curious as to what kind of a thought process would go into something like that. Is it some type of weird projection of self? If so, could that also explain why some people take our type as BFF's when we are really not all that into someone else and just being nice?
Does this happen to you? (NFJ's or other types) and if so, how do you handle it?
I've seen several NFJ's talk on the board about others thinking that we regard them as besties when we are just being nice, and then suddenly, you have a problem. So I'm figuring that's kind of normal for my type. But recently, I've been pretty stunned at some of the assumptions my friends (not good friends, mind you, but people I hang out with) make about me. For example, that I never drink alcohol, and that I'm very conservatively religious.
Both of those things are laughably untrue (not that there is anything wrong with either one, but they totally are not me). I only discovered this when I found out that my "friends" were drinking and trying to avoid letting me see them drinking, and then finally they offered me a virgin drink. I have friends I have happy hours and things with - but they are my really close friends. I think it's bizarre that these people would make an assumption without asking me about it, but I also just think it's very odd to know someone for a couple of years and have them know so little about who I really am.
I'm so curious as to what kind of a thought process would go into something like that. Is it some type of weird projection of self? If so, could that also explain why some people take our type as BFF's when we are really not all that into someone else and just being nice?
Does this happen to you? (NFJ's or other types) and if so, how do you handle it?