Real Borderline is a very tragic issue for the individual. They seek help and are often snubbed by shrinks as most shrinks do not understand how to help them. Even when they do try and help someone with BPD, it can be extremely frustrating as the person swings from extreme neediness to billowing hatred. (BPD is also annoying on this forum as it often is the catch all phrase for behaviors of others, that we do not understand- "Oh, she must be Borderline". I have lost track of the numer of ENTPs who are dealing with "borderline ENFPs" for instance...I suspect EXFPs are overrepresented in the Borderline population, but just because some one expresses frustration, hurt or annoyance, or inappropriate behavior, it doesnt make them borderline. I suspect duration of the behavior is key-how often for how long...)
I think my mom likely has BPD, although she takes meds for all types of mental issues. In Saturned's description, I recognized the catatonic child as myself-when you are surrounded by the massive amount of insanity and instability generated by a real borderline (or even an unstable parent of any sort), as a child, withdraw was a safe solution. You cannot rely upon those around you to provide a protective place to grow. I dont interact with my mom anymore as I cant tolerate her emotional manipulation and inability to learn from her past. She has tried to kill herself a few times in the far past, but now just has emo breakdowns mostly.
I also have a sister in law who was diagnosed borderline at 20 and was cutting. She was very calm and collected externallly and never had any issues in school-but had been cutting for four years. She had some issues with severe anxiety and took pretty intense meds for a few years and has lived as an in home au pair for her her sister for the past 8 years. At 27, she has a good job as a manager of a Drs office and is about to live on her own again. She doesnt seem to feel the same emotional turbulance that pushed her over the edge initially-however, even with a formal diagnosis, she never exhibited the full range of rage and other issues I saw in my mom or in Saturned's description. Perhaps ICUP has a point regarding age and maturity helping some folks out.
Also-I havent met this women-but I guess she is my step-sister, technically. As I understand it, she is so out of control that she doesnt stay out of a mental ward for very long. They let her out, she gets money from family, finds a man, steals things, starts doing drugs, oscillates between crying at her parents for not caring, then raging, then will try and kill herself-all within a week of being released. They just lock her back up. Perhaps this is the extreme end of the spectrum.
The most effective treatment for Borderline in DBT.
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
It is a combo of first, 1) Affirmation and acceptance of the indivdual, establish the sense of self worth they lack. 2) Teach them to self-observe and self monitor their behavior so they can learn when they are becoming unreasonable and self-regulate, even to the point of checklists and numerical rating scales 3) emotional detachment, often taught via mindful meditation, to reduce the paranoia notions and subseqeunt fear that others will abandon them, and help predict and prevent angry outburts and 4) social skills, to help them understand what the most socially acceptable response is in a situation.
I think there have been a number of studies that place DBT far ahead as the treatment of choice-but the person still has to want to change their behavior.