Ursa
New member
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2015
- Messages
- 739
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w7
To all ESTJs: Do you consider yourself to be judgmental, and if so, do you sometimes feel guilty about looking down on others?
I do consider myself to be judgemental. Most of my impatience with others stems from issues of competence and character. I don't have any qualms about calling someone out who is consistently late to meetings or who skips out on their duties, for example. Another example is a mean-spirit. I do not like that in others, and I have no problem with telling a bully to back off.
I also like to argue from a place of "judgement." I'll take a conclusion and argue it with someone as a means of reaching understanding about something. I think this can come off as judgemental and close-minded to Perceivers. But my Ne is open to changing my mind after a heated debate. I just don't frame the debate in terms of "what if" and "maybe" as much as a lot of Perceivers I know, and I don't like ending on an uncertain note. As a Judging type, I drive for closure - it's hard to get anything practical done when there is no decisiveness.
I rarely find myself judging people and things outside competence and character, though. I don't look at a Trekkie and think, "What a loser." It's their personal business and it doesn't hurt others, so I don't care. More power to them in fact. They could be a nice person anyways with a lot to bring to the table.
I do sometimes feel guilty. I was really hard on someone the other day who was saying rude things to others and being lazy. I later learned that she suffered from major depression. It put her behavior in context and made me wish I had framed my objections towards her behavior in a more compassionate way. I also sometimes object to something that, as it turns out, is a non-issue and I simply misunderstood. I wouldn't quite label that as guilt, though. I just choose to learn from my mistake and move on.
Inferior Fi also equals guilt when I'm in the grip. I'll think of something blunt I said to someone like seven years ago and be angry with myself for being insensitive.