Thanks for the positive feedback, everyone!
I have had the experience in the past of working on a project with an ESTJ. I appreciated the organization, helpfulness and networking he brought to it. However, it was an area that was my domain and I found that he would take over even areas that I had more knowledge of and that it was appropriate for me to deal with. Over time, as I got more confident, I dug my heels in a little bit more and found it did not go over well. Is this typical? When working with ESTJs on a team, how do you involve them without them running the whole thing, or does that just go with the territory?
I think that, sadly, that is pretty typical. What it is, is that he trusts himself more than he trusts you. I know that I, personally, would be more likely to do the work myself if I don't trust anyone else to do the work in (what I would consider to be) the CORRECT way. But if you were to prove to him, without a doubt, that you are trustworthy and competent, then he would have NO problem delegating some authority to you.
What type are ESTJs often attracted to?
It really, really depends on the ESTJ. We all have different needs. I know ESTJs who love going out with SPs, but I prefer NFs and NTs. I think ESTJs prefer certain people because of non-type-related factors, much more so than type-related ones. For instance, ESTJs would PREFER if their romantic interests agreed with them on most things (or could be easily convinced).
What aspects of NFs would an ESTJ find attractive? What aspects annoy or create friction, both personally and in a work environment?
An ESTJ would like that NFs would understand them, and listen to them, and they wouldn't feel like they would look down on them for showing emotion once and a while. I know that I trust NFs very easily (personally, I mean). NFs balance us out, which is always a good thing. However (and this might just be INFJs), but ESTJs would get pretty annoyed by NFs complaining all the time about all these different things and not doing anything about them! Their fear of conflict might get irritating, especially in a work environment (example being: ESTJ and NF agree on something, conflict begins, NF bails out and ESTJ is left completely alone, hurt and pissed off). But mostly, from my experience, since ESTJs get over conflicts way, way easier than NFs do, the NFs would be more irritated by the ESTJs than vice versa.
Would you say that ESTJs prefer to work alone or enjoy the process of working on a committee?
It depends. If the committee is easy to work with, and consenses (is that a word?) can occur quickly; if the committee is more efficient, in the ESTJ's mind, than working alone; THEN an ESTJ would prefer a committee.
Do you think that ESTJs generally tend to be good with IT stuff? The ones I know tend to be good at searching out info, using help sections on programs and therefore know more than many people about computers.
Yeah, sure. Well, the nerdier ones would be, anyway. That's probably another thing that would vary depending on the ESTJ. We're good at working on things that others might consider to be monotonous, for long periods of time, without much of a break. So that might make them innately good at IT work (or, rather, certain types of IT work). But the question would be, would they WANT to do that? I know that I'd rather leave it to the NTs
Would an ESTJ mother have rose-coloured spectacles when evaluating their children, or would they be brutally honest? My mother's an ESTJ and she always insists how pretty I am, how great a figure I have, etc. Is this merely her way of trying to boost my confidence, or is she being honest? Or is she just being a proud mother who stares at a vulture and sees a swan?
She swears she's being objective, but I'm still sceptical.
Well, every mother has rose-colored glasses. However, I doubt that she would lie to you to boost your confidence. So, I think she's telling (what she wholeheartedly considers to be) the truth (even if it may only be true in her eyes). I'm not sure, though, because I don't have children.
My ESTJ is extremely attached to her family. To the point where I think it will prevent me from enjoying our relationship to the fullest and she makes terrible fiscal decisions in terms of birthdays and holidays. She'd probably live right next door to her mom if she could, which of course I will not allow, I need a buffer. I don't know how to bring her over reliance on her mother up without making her extremely upset and accusatory, which has happened before.
Okay, in all honesty, there is NO WAY in HELL that you can "bring her over her reliance on her mother". You can't get between an ESTJ and her family. I'd recommend that you reason with her logically, e.g. "I know this is important to you, but could we do this in a way that's fiscally responsible? I have these ideas X and Y, and I think they'd work better..." The choice really shouldn't be between your relationship and her family. Both should be in there somewhere.