1) Does type affect manners? Is it an Fe thing?
It seems like it could be related to Fe except I'm not sure how much Fe I have. I am generally very *conscious* though of making people comfortable and lending a hand, don't think I was taught those manners necessarily growing up, it's more I have a both a desire to do so and remain conscious to it.
I think being 'polite' or having 'good manners' comes from a trifecta of wanting to be polite, anticipating/being conscious of what's going on around you, and knowing what is expected of you.
2) Would you describe yourself as rude or lacking manners? Or both? Or well-mannered?
I think in public I am as standoffish and lacking in manners as everyone else. I try to match my surroundings. As some cities are a lot friendlier and better mannered than others.
Actually, I'm a little better than average, because I am aware of personal space and I don't yell at people. LOL. I'm really surprised when I'm shopping and people literally shove by you or stick their hand right in front of your nose to grab something without saying anything. Sometimes I'm like - are you trying to make babies with me??
Then there are people who like taking up seats with their crap. I haven't seen that happen in NYC but it happens all the time in DC.
Then again, DC is an exceedingly rude city where no one seems to know how to use public space.
Then again, when I was in Spain I wanted to
strangle - hug very hard (wait, that sounds worse) some of those kids - and their parents. Did they stop beating children post-Franco??? One little bastard hit the emergency 'stop' button on the escalator to the Renfe platform while myself and a silver haired grandma were still riding down. His mom didn't even yell at him and she smiled at me as if she thought it was cute. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she were racist and thought since she doesn't speak Mandarin (no I'm not Chinese) I wouldn't "understand her" anyway. Then another bastard in the car I was in starting banging the very heavy metal folding tables until everyone in the train were staring daggers at him and his friend told him to stop.
Then again, people's manners seem to disappear in groups and dealing with anyone they see as "outsider". A lot of behavior, particularly while I was travelling, wasn't so much lack of manners so much as ignorance and sense of entitlement or just group-think. I mean, I have met very, very generous and kind people in my travels, good. But also, a good number of bastards that I wanted to
strangle make scary faces at.
I think you very quickly see in a group or society who the truly well-mannered, civic-minded, good-hearted, or high-minded people are, because they are the individuals lending a hand or showing good manners to everyone, not just their immediate friends and family.
I remember I was in a jewelry story in a really small town in Peru and this European looking tourist walks in without saying a word, puts his heavy camera bag next to me on the counter I'm looking at, then promptly turns around and takes a bunch of pictures of something across the street. Then he looks straight at me, again without a word, and walks out of the store with his bag. No greeting, no acknowledgement to either the saleswoman or myself. Then the saleswoman gave a little sigh and got out a spray cleaner and a paper towel and wiped down all the smudges and dirt his bag left on the counter. I wish I could say assholes like this were the exception when travelling, but they are NOT.
Then I realized part of it is different expectations and ideas of 'manners' and obligations and expectations even to equals in one's culture. I honestly think the US still has pretty high standards, which goes back to 'down home' ideals or something. Even the fact people talk about how we're 'failing as a nation in manners' - i think in truly rude societies, people don't give a fuuuuuuug. Like, Russia.
HAHAAHAHA.
I am so kidding about the Russia part, but you get my drift.
It's about relativism?
It's about culture vs individual vs people from other cultures...or something.
3) Do you think you need to improve in the manners department?
Maybe for formal dining? Or other events, like a wedding.
I think an etiquette expert could tell me more. But, I have the basics covered, I keep eye contaact, I greet people, I say thank you, I try not to overstep or overstay boundaries or invitations, I don't expect people to take care of me, etc. I do small things for people in public, like I've given people back phones or cameras they've dropped or ask people what they are looking for if they are obviously looking for something.
4) Are manners not needed as much anymore in this age of technology?
No, they are still needed, but the kids just don't know. Damn children....
LOL.
I'll tell Trinity!!! LOL.