Well, this sounds more INTJ-specific, than NT-related.
I don't really know how to help you in this regard.
We are a different breed, and, depending on how well you fit the archetype, how old you are, and how innate these categories really are, some things about you will likely never change.
But some things can.
Learning social skills is not an easy lesson, and, if you really are an INTJ, and the theory holds true so that Fe is very low on your functional usage, then you have to figure out how to socialize via other functions, namely your strengths.
- That being said, Ni is not the best function for socializing. That's what makes you say the weird things that others don't understand. This can be honed, though. Namely, by...
- Te. You can use your Te to figure out how it is that social dynamics work. I recommend reading up on the topic. It will give you a framework through which you might be able to better understand what's going on in front of you, and why people behave the way they do.
- Fi. Being in touch with your own inner feelings is important. This is not Fe, and it's in your tertiary spot, so not only is it not necessarily intended for public consumption (as it's much more self-oriented than Fe), but you're probably not that adept at using it in the first place. However, when others can sense a deep, mature emotional life within you, they can at least see you as something other than an emotionless robot (note: I have well developed Fi, and, depending on the circumstance, this can still happen to me; the issue is that we guard our tertiary Fi, and only let it out with people we trust, or in just the right moment when the situation calls for it, so, yeah...).
- Lastly, Se. This is a tough one, as it's your inferior, so I don't think you'll ever have nearly a good a grasp of it as the first three functions. However, I can sometimes switch into this mode and become extremely outgoing and gregarious (it generally occurs when just the right mix of really wanting to go out for the night, being in good company, and just the right amount of inebriation, take place).
- Those are your primary tools (the other ones might be back there too and manifest in your shadow, but let's not go there for the sake of this conversation). If you really wanna improve your social skills, I suggest you take a Te-based approach by learning the dynamics of social interaction via both reading and experience, learn to hone your Ni (via Te and Fi) so that you can recognize the random shit it comes up with that you should not say (if you want the social interaction to proceed apace) as well as the shit that you should say (this is where that reading and experience will come in handy), learn to use and develop your Fi so that you're a more mature well-rounded emotionally health human being and learn to reveal that side of yourself (when appropriate), and try to figure out how to shift into Se usage a bit when socializing (trust me, it can be fun [I have just a number of occasions a year like this, maybe 5-10, and they're always fun as hell).
I know that's a big pill to swallow, but, if you're serious about improving your social skills as an INTJ, coming from a rather sociable one (who, nevertheless, still has to deal with many of the typical INTJ issues), know that it can be done, and that the above advice is probably the best way you can approach the issue.