9(w1) is second strongest in my tritype I believe, and I had an e9 friend for at least 3 years. So I hope I can say at least something?
Here's my big issue: All the descriptions I read of type 9 make them seem like they have no sense of self and are too willing to go along with what others want, ignoring their own needs. Do all 9's have trouble voicing their opinions and objections, or saying "no" when they don't want to do something? Can the presence of Fi and Sx have an impact on this tendency, making a 9 more aware of her own needs and desires, and less willing to compromise them?
imo It's not
necessarily that the sense of self is lacking, but rather that the sense of
need is vague. Few things feel certainly urgent to a 9. The attitude that "everything will work out eventually" leads to the perception that it's alright to wait out this one thing at the moment. It then snowballs into putting many things off indefinitely, and by that time it may feel overwhelming enough to put it off even further.
But if someone asks me what I want to do and I actually do have a preference, I'll voice it. Why withhold my preference (for fear that the other person won't like it) when I don't necessarily know what the other person wants? If someone asks if want to go to MacDonalds and I have something else in mind, I should just say it because for all I know, the other person could like that idea even better. It's not going to cause conflict. That 9-ish fear of voicing their own opinions/needs just doesn't make much sense to me, and I don't seem to have it.
A 9 above all is concerned with his or her own sense of ease, comfort, autonomy, and familiarity. Simply put, a 9 does not want to be overly bothered. Conflict-avoidance is just a means to that end. It means
- Less energy spent, thus more internal stability
- Less tense or volatile atmosphere (external and internal), thus more comfort
- Less dramatic change, thus more internal familiarity
What the 9 might do is simply withdraw, mentally or physically, thus in reality she or he is only yielding on things that she or he has no real investment in. There is no need to defend a sphere that you are not residing in! Or, she or he may yield around others while secretly indulging him or her self when alone.
On things that the 9 really cares for, you will be met with
astonishing stubbornness and passive resistance. And when a 9 is really fed up with others interfering with his or her sense of comfort, he or she will either have an angry outburst or disconnect from them entirely.
If a 9 has a preference and knows that stating it won't sully the atmosphere, he or she would be more outspoken.
My 9 friend and I both had a fear that we would risk driving others away and ruining the atmosphere if we made a big fuss over things, or made a big scene out of something, or started something that ended up becoming a huge confrontation.
We trusted each other though, so we were both upfront about things that bothered us or that we disagreed with/didn't want to do. It also helped that we knew which signs to look for.
Another thing: Unlike most 9's, I become more reflective and introspective when I'm unhealthy, not less. Could a Fi-Si loop cause a 9 to become extremely introspective and brooding?
It would take
a lot of stress for a 9 to want to block so much out. Have you ever been stressed to such a degree?