I've had my ups and downs with my ENFJ, a bit of it documented here, but I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else right now. It's going
great.
I do have a couple of questions though:
1. Many a time, my ENFJ has brought up this issue of them feeling that I'm not 'open enough' and how it sometimes comes off as though I'm 'hiding something'. We've had one or two (or three) fights over that. We've had instances where they've met an old flame or found out some detail from my past or something I had recently undertaken and we had a tiff over that because they had not heard of it before and they didn't like how it 'came as a surprise'.
I'm confused; I've been more exposed and more vulnerable with them than I have with
anyone.. How can I be more open? What things should I be more open about? Should I talk about my workday every day and stuff like that? Are there different Fi/Fe understandings of what openness constitutes?
2. My ENFJ has this pal Q who is just...
evil. He's a close pal and a work colleague of theirs and my ENFJ really likes him and holds him in very high esteem. I really don't know why; something seemed off to me about him from the day I met him but I've kept my opinion to myself and have been polite for my S/O's sake. He's told my ENFJ, offhandedly, fabrications about me that have caused ENFJ & I to fall out twice in the time we've been together but each time we've managed to smooth things over. I'm at the end of my tether when it comes to Q. I can't imagine what his motivations are (
all my s/o's other close pals really, really like me and they've told me as much) but it frustrates me how an interloper could create that much drama. What should I do about Q? Should I confront him myself? Really not my style but, if it has to come to that.... (p.s. Q is also ENFJ, FWIW)
3. Sometimes, during private moments, my s/o talks about their love for me with such intensity that they start crying... I'm left speechless and just silently hold them. I become emotional myself, experiencing the intensity of my feelings on the inside though I'm pretty sure that, on the outside, I look blank. That's how I am but... I feel like it's not enough, like I should be more verbally demonstrative. What are your love languages as an ENFJ? (I never realised until now how different Dom-Fi and Dom-Fe were. I mean, I've known they were different but I never realised till I started dating my s/o just
how different they were)