Honest stuff here..
I know what this girl is and all, but to be completely honest her eyes don't scare me and neither does anything about the way she acts, really. She strikes me as a badass, in a sense that I actually admire. All sociopaths do, actually. Sometimes I wish I were a sociopath, does that make me fucked up?
They lack something that normal people have, something that I see as pathetic. It's hard to put a finger on and define it exactly. Sociopaths are believers. If they believe in pure hatred and malice, at least they believe in something. Normal people are afraid to believe in anything so wholeheartedly. Maybe that's it. And you can see it in their confidence. When I look at that girl in the video, I think she is amazing.. thrilling.. powerful.. even godlike. And I love her eyes, and her unabashedness. I find her desire for existential revenge and desecration totally relatable. She is a product of the nightmare world she was born into, and there is a kind of beauty in nightmares. I honestly think she is a lovely child and hope god has mercy on her.
Now... don't get me wrong, when I hear about someone being a sociopath or suspect it IRL, I immediately stay as far away from that person as possible, because I know what's good for me. It would be incredibly ignorant to voluntarily try to "help" a sociopath. It is indeed tragic that others will become victims of this sort of thing. That girl's brother? I can't imagine how horrible it must be for him. I dunno why this sort of shit happens. Then again, I've never been exposed to it, it is totally alien to me. Things I don't know...
No, I dont think you're fucked up, I just think that you've been influenced by a media construct of what a sociopath is.
There's also a lot of people who are troubled by being conscientious to the point of being nuerotic about it, they can get caught up by the social machinery which is meant to arrest the behaviour of lazy or selfish individuals easily and resent it, sometimes they get caught up in it when they know of other more deserving candidates for it are breezing by it all or they may even know that the people administering it are the people its meant to catch.
Sociopaths are not any more admirable or commendable than someone who is a savant or autistic or on the aspergers spectrum or who has ADHD. I think there's less of them than there are imitators of them, sadists usually, or people who've "hardened their hearts", ie repressed emotions and emotional responses, and have to continually do so because they're trying very hard not to feel difficult or painful emotional states, different sorts of narcissistic states are associated with the neurotic conscientiousness and apparent lack of conscience, its called being highly deployed, being very highly defensive and false and phony in order to avoid the shattering of personal illusions and a confrontation with reality, including the reality of the self.
The majority of people I know who exhibit these sorts of things are pathetic individuals, with completed or incomplete schemes to hurt others, constantly playing games with others and very, very responsive to any suggestion from others or their environment, like watching TV shows and wanting to act on their content in ways that are compulsive. None of them can simply shrug or deal with being hurt and they'll hurt others to see the hurt in them and pride themselves on not feeling that way themselves. The fear of being victimised is so great that they'll victimise others in the belief they're safe from the roles ever being reversed that way, that's an awful thing to behold when you know that its deep seated and they're just going to carry on hurting people repeatedly to provide that false security to themselves. The reaction from them when they cant evoke the expected or hoped for emotional response is something else.
Those kinds of desperate strategies of relating to others are all about a kind of neediness, its pathetic and the abnormal side of being properly related to the world and being capable of independence.