Billy
Crazy Diamond
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,192
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
I don't mean to shut down the difficulty of the NF male's situation, absolutely, there are challenges and hurdles there too.
It was my personal experience that roughly around 13 years old, all the girls were "just getting" something that I wasn't understanding, and it was starting to alienate me from the herd. When someone would have a teenage drama moment and stormed off in tears, all the other girls seemed to know the context and buildup behind it, and I was all ? Where did that come from? If it didn't involve me it wasn't a big deal, just a bit disorienting, but things sometimes did involve me, and it was stressful to have to navigate a world to which I was blind.
NT females have to first learn that there's information to perceive at all, and then after that comes the difficult work of paying attention to that data when you're not built to be oriented to it in the first place. Sort of like how bats use sonar, NT females are blind to what everyone else can see.
When you start to crash and bump into things and everyone else is going you enter the sink or swim moment of the NT female. It comes early and fast and you learn to use sonar or you are left in the dust and perceived as broken. Now, I love my sonar, and I think my other figurative senses are heightened because I wasn't a natural see-er . . . but it was hard-earned!
wouldn't that mostly be an NT trait though? I can see how it could work differently against an NT female as in she is expected to be more in tune with such things, but thats not really all that different from the situation an NF male is in... its just an inverse, the only difference I believe is that in terms of love and relationships and stuff, the NT female suffers whereas the NF male does extra well... however on the inverse again, being an NF male in a competitive job market is a major downer and very distressing because of inter office politics and stuff, I have noticed NT females thrive like a bastard in those situations.
I am still trying to get my head around the sink or swim thing though, you mean you have to figure out how to unnaturally act around all these touchy feely doofuses? and if you dont learn you are destined to be a cat lady?
I can see how that would be distressing.
On the same token, NF males have to learn to control thier major cling factor and constant barrage of insecurities. If I acted out on all my nuttyness and did what came natural I would call my girl 20 times a day pumping her for info, reassurance etc...
hmmm I dunno, the thing I see though is that if I stay out of the corporate worker world I tend to thrive amoungst people in my relationships, I can see where an outspoken NT female might not do quite as well, which is why I voted for NT females in this poll