ISFP or ISTP friend...

[Rachelinpa]

Help! I can't do it myself. I can't tell what she is because I don't really know any ISTP women... and the ISFP women I know are extreme.

Let me give you as much as I can:

T OR F?

* She is modest and tends to underrate and understate herself. Sells herself short, doesn't accept compliments very well.

* She is verbally quick and funny. Makes witty and snarky comments and (sometimes) feels bad about it later.

* She is very sensitive to feeling left out.

* She says she is like the man in the relationship. The guys cling and she gets bored. She is the least attached and ALWAYS has the upper hand.

* Extremely non-confrontational. She doesn't say "no," and gets "guilted" into stuff a lot. She becomes resentful later.

* Not really in touch with her feelings (wasn't sure if this was a T/F thing or an N/S thing). She does not communicate her feelings to others usually (often to her detriment), but I think it is because she does not know what she is feeling.

* She is not very "hands-on" or mechanically gifted that I know of. She doesn't like to exercise at all, but she used to play softball, so I know she is capable.

* She is not very artsy either, but she majored in communication and can act well.

OTHER POTENTIALLY RELEVANT DETAILS:

She is probably an I, but may be on the line.

* She takes a while to warm up to people, but she is like a hidden treasure once you spend more time with her.

* Like me, she has a ton of friends on her MySpace, but she would not consider them her close friends.

* She does not EVER seek out relationships, but is fairly good at maintaining them.

* She also usually does not have to seek out her relationships because she is extremely pretty - this does not exactly deter people. At the same time, most people perceive her as unapproachable. In high school, she was called the "Ice Queen," but I do not think that was based on actual interaction with her (rather the lack of). Her cool and aloofness made me think of her as ISTP. I would not use the word "friendly" to describe her.

* She can spend hours in Starbucks reading and be happy as a clam.

* She says "I hate people."

* She gets bored easily and complains about needing more stimulation. At the same time, she does not feel the urge to do things and go places all of the time.

* She always has more than one job. Always jobs that have her interacting with people.

She is definitely a P.

* Disorganized, messy, fluid, spontaneous. Says she will be there in ten minutes and I automatically know to add a half hour to it.

She is definitely an S.

* We talk about shoes, shopping, relationships and people we know.

* She is very knowledgeable regarding fashion, Hollywood, and the latest this or the latest that.

* We only have fun. We do not talk about anything serious. EVER. And, I sense that it makes her uncomfortable.

* I do not feel understood by her, but I feel very appreciated by her.

["?"]

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

Help! I can't do it myself. I can't tell what she is because I don't really know any ISTP women... and the ISFP women I know are extreme.

Has she claimed one or the other or is she even interested in knowing. I would suggest asking her.

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

T OR F?

* She is modest and tends to underrate and understate herself. Sells herself short, doesn't accept compliments very well.

* She is verbally quick and funny. Makes witty and snarky comments and (sometimes) feels bad about it later.

* She is very sensitive to feeling left out.

* She says she is like the man in the relationship. The guys cling and she gets bored. She is the least attached and ALWAYS has the upper hand.

* Extremely non-confrontational. She doesn't say "no," and gets "guilted" into stuff a lot. She becomes resentful later.

* Not really in touch with her feelings (wasn't sure if this was a T/F thing or an N/S thing). She does not communicate her feelings to others usually (often to her detriment), but I think it is because she does not know what she is feeling.

* She is not very "hands-on" or mechanically gifted that I know of. She doesn't like to exercise at all, but she used to play softball, so I know she is capable.

* She is not very artsy either, but she majored in communication and can act well.

You jumped around quite a bit and not all of what you disclose relates to type especially the emotional part. MBTI is a cognitive, not emotional, indicator. However much of what you say does seem to be more Fi related, although as a dominant Ti type I too have a hard time saying no and feeling guilty later about over committing. This seems to indicate that she is an E9 type in the enneagram. I am still waiting to hear from someone who has determined their best fit type and were mechanically inclined. That’s a stereotype. However hands-on does not equate to working with your hands it means that you learn better from doing not reading a book.

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

OTHER POTENTIALLY RELEVANT DETAILS:

She is probably an I, but may be on the line.

* She takes a while to warm up to people, but she is like a hidden treasure once you spend more time with her.

* Like me, she has a ton of friends on her MySpace, but she would not consider them her close friends.

* She does not EVER seek out relationships, but is fairly good at maintaining them.

* She also usually does not have to seek out her relationships because she is extremely pretty - this does not exactly deter people. At the same time, most people perceive her as unapproachable. In high school, she was called the "Ice Queen," but I do not think that was based on actual interaction with her (rather the lack of). Her cool and aloofness made me think of her as ISTP. I would not use the word "friendly" to describe her.

* She can spend hours in Starbucks reading and be happy as a clam.

* She says "I hate people."

* She gets bored easily and complains about needing more stimulation. At the same time, she does not feel the urge to do things and go places all of the time.

* She always has more than one job. Always jobs that have her interacting with people.

I share all of these qualities as would most introverts, except for the pretty thing.

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

She is definitely a P.

* Disorganized, messy, fluid, spontaneous. Says she will be there in ten minutes and I automatically know to add a half hour to it.

That does not make her a perceiving type in my opinion since these are stereotypes, however there are a great number of people here who will disagree with me.

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

She is definitely an S.

* We talk about shoes, shopping, relationships and people we know.

* She is very knowledgeable regarding fashion, Hollywood, and the latest this or the latest that.

* We only have fun. We do not talk about anything serious. EVER. And, I sense that it makes her uncomfortable.

* I do not feel understood by her, but I feel very appreciated by her.

You referenced to nothing to indicate that she is a sensing type by what you share. What does talking about shoes have to do with type? I don’t think the average male walks around talking about shoes (although I do know some who may), so this is more a female thing than having bearing on type and has nothing to do with being a sensor.

You just went south on stereotyping sensing types. She could just as easily be an INFP. Again back to my original thought, if you want to know ask her. If she is truly an introvert then you may not know her as well as you think and she may quickly tell you that you are perceiving her wrong in your observations.

[Randomnity]

She seems more like an ISTP to me, but not absolutely. Almost all of it sounds familiar to me, though a lot of it overlaps with ISFP traits as well...

[Rachelinpa]

MBTI is a cognitive, not emotional, indicator.

Really? How do you figure?

However hands-on does not equate to working with your hands it means that you learn better from doing not reading a book.

Sure. Hands-on by definition can mean involving active participation. I do not think your clarification was necessary as I mentioned being mechanically gifted and her disdain for exercise in the same breath, but ok.

If you want to know, ask her. If she is truly an introvert then you may not know her as well as you think and she may quickly tell you that you have her pegged wrong in your observations.

Do you think I am being invasive in typing my friend?

[Rachelinpa]

Originally Posted by Randomnity

She seems more like an ISTP to me, but not absolutely. Almost all of it sounds familiar to me, though a lot of it overlaps with ISFP traits as well...

Yeah, that is what I was leaning towards. I know it was sort of a random list of traits or behavior I had observed. I tried to organize it! Hahaha.

[Rachelinpa]

Oh, and for the record. I have asked her. She has taken the test. And, she came out as an ISTP. She is not sure if that best describes her though. She said she reads the descriptions of the different types and certain parts sound like her and certain parts don't (as it should be).

[Jack Flak]

ISFP, if it's between the two. (I didn't consider other possibilities).

[Colors]

I leaned ever so slightly towards ISFP (out of the two types), but really, you must tell us more, Rachelinpa. I'm fairly sure she's IxxP.

How would you compare yourself and her? How do you interact?

[Rachelinpa]

How would you compare yourself and her? How do you interact?

We interact better in a group than one-on-one. Our relationship is primarily built on common interests, a similar sense of humor and inside jokes--not on sharing or bearing our souls to one another. Not that I haven't tried, but it's like crossing wires. When I say I yearn for connection she says, "Yearn? What's that?" When I talk about my idealism or how I wonder about purpose, making a difference and where I am going in life, she says, "Do you think you're going to switch jobs? I know a place that is hiring." These aren't the best examples, but I'm absolutely more romantic, melodramatic and airy fairy than she is about pretty much everything. She is a good friend for me though because she keeps my feet grounded and helps me not to take myself so seriously.

I am usually (99% of the time) the one to initiate in our relationship, but she responds. She says she is "lazy" and a "follower." She happily joins in on adventures, but rarely plans them. Neither of us likes to plan, actually, but if anyone steps up to plate, it's usually me.

We both like to go new places and meet new people, but I am bolder than she is (her words, not mine). With my ESFP and ESFJ friends, I am used to taking the backseat to their stories and hoopla, but around her, I feel pressure to be the life of the party. Of course I do this happily, as I love to entertain, but it is a shock every time because I forget how different it is. She has definitely claimed "hating to be the center of attention" as part of her identity. Although, I know she definitely likes the attention that stems in my wake (if that makes any sense). We play each other's wing women on a frequent basis and make a pretty good team.

She is polite, considerate of others, image conscious and hypersensitive not to offend anyone around her (although, she will occasionally whisper snide hilarious comments under her breath). At the same time, she does not seem to be as in tune to relational dynamics as I am. I've seen situations where she is completely oblivious to underlying relational messages or tension, and she is always shocked when she finds out.

["?"]

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

Do you think I am being invasive in typing my friend?

Introverts always think that you're invading their space whether you are or not. I think you just want to know. As for cognitive, MBTI is based on Jung's theory of cognitive functions She reminds readers taht emotion does not come into play but how we direct our energy, how we take in information and how we make decisions.