Why doesn't anyone like ESFJ's?

[ttrim]

Hello there, I just joined today. I recently took the MBTI from a counselor and tested ESFJ. After coming here and reading all the posts it seems like my type is more of a curse for me. What are the reasons why everyone is so down on my type?

 

[Antimony]

Because a lot of ESFJ's suck hard.

I like two, personally.

But hey, Ms. Saslou on here kicks a lot of people's ass, so I won't be so hard on judging you

 

[Ginkgo]

You should keep in mind that every Archetype has it's own idiosyncrasy/stereotype/negativity attached to it, regardless of whether those suppositions have any truth or not. This is the result of inductive reasoning prevailing over conductive reasoning.

So, I'm just going to state my opinions about the ESFJs that I know to straightforwardly answer your question.

Being an INFP, I view some of them as being obnoxious and obtrusive. They may also be materialistic and "party animals". They may also try to force others to reciprocate when they are generous or "altruistic".

However, they can be very pleasent if the circumstances are proper.

 

[Jaguar]

Because a lot of ESFJ's suck hard.

I like two, personally.

But hey, Ms. Saslou on here kicks a lot of people's ass, so I won't be so hard on judging you

There's wisdom in Saslou, which I find appealing.

 

[Athenian200]

I don't hate ESFJs, I just pretend to hate them so INTPs will like me.

The answer is, because most of the people here are INTx, and don't like or understand their shadow type. The rest of us are just following the crowd.

 

[Jaguar]

I don't hate ESFJs, I just pretend to hate them so INTPs will like me.

The answer is, because most of the people here are INTx, and don't like or understand their shadow type. The rest of us are just following the crowd.

WTH? Are you drinking tonight? The shit you are posting is off the wall.

 

[Tamske]

Because I don't know any.
Really.

I can't like nor hate a type. I love the ESTJ type because I know several nice and interesting ESTJs who make the type more concrete. I've despised the ENFJ type for a while because I knew only one real-life ENFJ and that was an annoying one - until I realised one of my former teachers also belonged to that type. Now I like the type. I'd still need more examples in order to really love it.

ESFJ are only four letters to me. I'd love to find some real-life ESFJs around me that I can use as examples.

 

[Ginkgo]

I don't hate ESFJs, I just pretend to hate them so INTPs will like me.

The answer is, because most of the people here are INTx, and don't like or understand their shadow type. The rest of us are just following the crowd.

Have you ever played Jumanji while snorting methamphetamine? It's wicked awesome bro.

 

[Thalassa]

One of my best friends is a wonderful ESFJ.

But I've known some really irritating, overbearing, bitchy, shallow ones too.

There's good and bad with every type, and I think some types get along better than others. Or something.

 

[Chloe]

you're prototype to what society wants all of us to be! don't whine!
you are not INTP, be happy!

 

[VagrantFarce]

you are not INTP, be happy!

yes, heed these words.

 

[Laurie]

I agree in theory with Athenian. We are escaping from the SJ world on this here forum. I know an ESFJ in real life and they are a nice person, no problems really (slightly bossy? overbearing?).

On this forum types that aren't normally socially "accepted" in real life are "desired" in forum. That is I, N, T (since they have less social graces - except F men, they are considered "not accepted") and P.

ESFJ doesn't hit many of those "not socially accepted" types. Also, people whine about every type on this forum, don't you worry.

 

[INTJMom]

Hello there, I just joined today. I recently took the MBTI from a counselor and tested ESFJ. After coming here and reading all the posts it seems like my type is more of a curse for me. What are the reasons why everyone is so down on my type?

This forum is heavily populated by Ns, so they are biased.
Also most of the people here are young,
and barely any of them even own one book on type.
All they know is what they've read online... some of which is ignorant or even cruel.
Put that all together and that explains MOST of the misconceptions about ESxx types.

I happen to think ESFJs are awesome. They're wonderful people who have many friends and who contribute great things to their community. You are not cursed. WE are the ones who are cursed since we HAVE no life!

The reason Ns might be down on S's might have something to do with the tendency for us not to speak each other's language. We don't tend to have a lot in common... or even understand each other. But that's certainly not a reason to disparage people. MBTI is all about realizing that we ARE different... and why. But I think we should value each other's strengths... even if we can't personally relate.

 

[JustHer]

I think it's because the traits of an unhealthy ESFJ tend to be more annoying for people as they are more intrusive.

Like unhealthy Fi or Ti don't really get in your face quite like unhealthy Fe does, they are easier to ignore. Also, unhealthy Si is probably a lot more outrageous for people than unhealthy Ni as it is more concrete.

Also, Fe doms have Ti as an inferior which can exasperate people in an argument.

 

[ajblaise]

The ESFJs on this forum are actually pretty well liked. Saslou is cool, and pure_merc's (kinda) alright. Granted there's only two of them.

But generally, ESxJs embody everything INXXs dislike about humanity.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I love yall, persoanally.

 

[Quinlan]

I think it's because the traits of an unhealthy ESFJ tend to be more annoying for people as they are more intrusive.

Like unhealthy Fi or Ti don't really get in your face quite like unhealthy Fe does, they are easier to ignore. Also, unhealthy Si is probably a lot more outrageous for people than unhealthy Ni as it is more concrete.

Also, Fe doms have Ti as an inferior which can exasperate people in an argument.

Yeah unhealthy IPs are more likely to slip under most people's radars compared to unhealthy EJs.

 

[teslashock]

ESFJs can be quite lovely when they've developed some of their tertiary Ne. They are very warm and friendly, and then the tertiary Ne gives them some wits to boot. I don't have anything against ESFJs. It's those ESTJs that annoy the shit out of me.

 

[compulsiverambler]

I don't dislike ESFJs. I gotten on with some, not gotten on with others. My ESFJ sister seems like she's going to turn out fine. She can be overly controlling, and provoke to get a response, but she's only young yet. She has a motherly streak and a great sense of humour.

 

[tinkerbell]

Hello there, I just joined today. I recently took the MBTI from a counselor and tested ESFJ. After coming here and reading all the posts it seems like my type is more of a curse for me. What are the reasons why everyone is so down on my type?

its nothing to get a complex about....

Out of SJ's I find the E version easier to deal with.

S = wanting tons of detail (will humour for a short while then get increadibly frustrated)
J = needing everything planned, and controlled (none of me wants to play with that)

SJ's are totally the opposite in type to myself, they want detail in order to feel secure, rather than owning they don't get something, and never will, they will continue to ask for more and more detail and then get exceptionately shitty when the answer is they have had it all.

I deal with concepts and trying to explain abstracts to people who don't think like that is exhausting.

I deal with a lot of unconsiously incompotent SJs, who are a real nightmare. They hate having to admit they don't know and usually take it out on people around them, which bring the warm fuzzies out of all of us who work with them

Seriously it's not a personal thing, I keep an open mind IRL and don't write people off until they try that shit, after that I tend to avoid them.

N= c25% of the pop at most, so this forum has an N skew which means people feel safer to vent their frustrations as being in the minority in real life.

But hey welcome to the forum