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Please type me

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
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Hello Quint,
I know you said you wanted to discuss enneagram and instinctual variants again.
So enneagram is based heavily on the things you are "afraid" of, so you do certain things in your life to avoid facing the ultimate fear. So the best way to start discussing enneagram is to discuss things you're afraid of, not phobic wise. but for instance, do you fear being incompetent? not being able to face reality? not being apart of the group? etc?
 

Luigi

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Hello Quint,
I know you said you wanted to discuss enneagram and instinctual variants again.
So enneagram is based heavily on the things you are "afraid" of, so you do certain things in your life to avoid facing the ultimate fear. So the best way to start discussing enneagram is to discuss things you're afraid of, not phobic wise. but for instance, do you fear being incompetent? not being able to face reality? not being apart of the group? etc?

Hello again
Perhaps I'm over-confident and arrogant, but I usually think that I can handle anything, I simply need to find a way to handle whatever situation requires a solution. I fear not being a good person, not necessarily in the ethical sense but more so in regards to success and my ability to take care of myself. I do fear being rejected, yes. I also think that I'm afraid of not meeting my own very high expectations, and thus being a morally bad example of what a man should be.
 

Red Memories

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Hello again
Perhaps I'm over-confident and arrogant, but I usually think that I can handle anything, I simply need to find a way to handle whatever situation requires a solution. I fear not being a good person, not necessarily in the ethical sense but more so in regards to success and my ability to take care of myself. I do fear being rejected, yes. I also think that I'm afraid of not meeting my own very high expectations, and thus being a morally bad example of what a man should be.

So from my reading of enneagram.
A fear of rejection is equated to 9.
A fear of being a morally bad example could be 1 or 9.
Fearing not being able to care for yourself and being unsuccessful could be 6 or 3. Depending on the character.
Depending on what you feel more strongly you could be 9w1 or 1w9. Are you more likely to uphold an ethical value or more likely to push yourself into molding in fear of rejection?
 

Luigi

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So from my reading of enneagram.
A fear of rejection is equated to 9.
A fear of being a morally bad example could be 1 or 9.
Fearing not being able to care for yourself and being unsuccessful could be 6 or 3. Depending on the character.
Depending on what you feel more strongly you could be 9w1 or 1w9. Are you more likely to uphold an ethical value or more likely to push yourself into molding in fear of rejection?

I thought 6s feared rejection, and 1w9
 

Red Memories

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I thought 6s feared rejection, and 1w9

Core 9's fear being "separated from the whole" which is a strong fear of rejection.
6's are actually more afraid of not having guidance and help in their life. They often have problem with anxiety and overthinking. They're also loyal to a fault at times. A 6 tends to gel with the whole in hopes of having guidance always, while a counterphobic 6 tends to fight this feeling.
 

Luigi

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Core 9's fear being "separated from the whole" which is a strong fear of rejection.
6's are actually more afraid of not having guidance and help in their life. They often have problem with anxiety and overthinking. They're also loyal to a fault at times. A 6 tends to gel with the whole in hopes of having guidance always, while a counterphobic 6 tends to fight this feeling.

I see, then it's 6 integrating into 9 and not 9 itself
 

Luigi

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I wouldn't say that.
9 actually integrates into 6 when stressed.

I know, I'm saying that I think it's a 6 integrating into 9 instead of the other way around.
 

Peter Deadpan

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Ti/Fe and Si/Ne, in some order.

The fears of the enneagram aren't always easily determined because they are subconscious. Assessing behavior is not how you determine enneagram. Rather, you need to dig really deep and ask yourself "what is motivating me? Whyyy am I really doing this?" That will give you a sense of your enneagram and instincts.

Also, the instincts will vary in presentation based on the core enneagram type.

You are quite assertive yet simultaneously considerate of the group. I cannot see you being triple withdrawn and Sp first because you simply do not shy away from confrontation enough.
 

Luigi

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Te/Fi can also be mindful of the group, just not in the same way, right?
Also, so now we're looking at either So first or Sx first

What motivates me? I do what is necessary, both for myself and my family, to progress. If it's necessary, I'll do it, even if I don't really want to.
 

Red Memories

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Alright Quint, I shall grab my resources and we can chat a bit. :)
 

Luigi

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Thank you :coffee: :D :hug:
 
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Red Memories

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so typeinmind.com was my favorite source to find. I feel like they describe things really well and also how that function works within the stack to create the full type.

So for starters you currently type as ESFJ, so I will send you the page for ESFJ.
http://www.typeinmind.com/fesi/

let me know what you are thinking from it. What do you relate to? What do you not relate to?
 

Luigi

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"FeSi’s feel most themselves when they are taking care of others and not expecting anything in return."
^ Nope, I totally want things in return, I just don't talk about them, I'm hoping they will want to do things in return because of gratitude or love.

"Although conflict is difficult on them, suppressing or avoiding the conflict feels even worse. They will ruminate on the unresolved conflict over and over in their minds, possibly losing sleep over it and imagining things are even worse than they really are."
^ I don't lose much sleep over it, but yes.

"Once conflict has been resolved, an FeSi will be able and willing to move forward in harmony."
^ I'm not sure. I want the other person to do something to make it up to me. Could be that's my idea of conflict resolution, and when that doesn't happen, it's hard for me to move on. :p

"If an FeSi sits in a coffee shop and observes people, they can naturally and easily know the general mood of everyone they observe."
^ yes, very frequently, but it makes me jealous because I'm usually all alone and I want to be involved with people that care

"FeSi’s are famous for knowing how to act in social situations, and while some of that ability does come from their catalogue of what experience tells them is most likely to be acceptable, they can also read the room and determine how each individual wants to be interacted with based on the vibes they emit."
^ well sometimes, I can be good at this but I can also make a fool of myself without even trying :(

"Even if an FeSi knows their blunt friend is trying to help them by pointing out their faults, it usually just makes them feel even worse."
^ absolutely, it's why I hate criticism

"They don’t see the need to turn everything into a debate, and they don’t enjoy pitting one person against the other. FeSi’s are likely to express their unpopular opinions only with someone they trust who won’t see disagreement as an attack, and who will allow the discussion to remain fairly neutral."
^ yes
 
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Red Memories

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Going through this real quick before introducing you to the other Fe-dom type.

"FeSi’s feel most themselves when they are taking care of others and not expecting anything in return."
^ Nope, I totally want things in return, I just don't talk about them, I'm hoping they will want to do things in return because of gratitude or love. <--- This would be a very E2 sort of response.

"Although conflict is difficult on them, suppressing or avoiding the conflict feels even worse. They will ruminate on the unresolved conflict over and over in their minds, possibly losing sleep over it and imagining things are even worse than they really are."
^ I don't lose much sleep over it, but yes. <-----Because ESFJ has an Ne function, it can create worst case scenarios. This can more be the nature of Ne mixing with a feeling function.

"Once conflict has been resolved, an FeSi will be able and willing to move forward in harmony."
^ I'm not sure. I want the other person to do something to make it up to me. Could be that's my idea of conflict resolution, and when that doesn't happen, it's hard for me to move on. :p <----- I agree with you heh. Fe is very adverse to conflict so it is more likely to let things slide if you're close friends.

"If an FeSi sits in a coffee shop and observes people, they can naturally and easily know the general mood of everyone they observe."
^ yes, very frequently, but it makes me jealous because I'm usually all alone and I want to be involved with people that care <------ Maybe a little E9 showing there, wanting to be part of the whole.

"FeSi’s are famous for knowing how to act in social situations, and while some of that ability does come from their catalogue of what experience tells them is most likely to be acceptable, they can also read the room and determine how each individual wants to be interacted with based on the vibes they emit."
^ well sometimes, I can be good at this but I can also make a fool of myself without even trying :( <------ You did speculate to have a higher functioning autism possibly (from our PMs, I am not sure if anything is official) but Autism makes social situations harder, because you would have a harder time reading people and detecting the ways you should or should not react to something. It may be something out of your control. <3

"Even if an FeSi knows their blunt friend is trying to help them by pointing out their faults, it usually just makes them feel even worse."
^ absolutely, it's why I hate criticism <----- I think both feeling types can hate criticism. I think it is more how they deal with it that is important. This is more an E2 response as well. E2 hates their flaws being picked out because they want to be portrayed pridefully as wonderful loveable people.

"They don’t see the need to turn everything into a debate, and they don’t enjoy pitting one person against the other. FeSi’s are likely to express their unpopular opinions only with someone they trust who won’t see disagreement as an attack, and who will allow the discussion to remain fairly neutral."
^ yes <------- This again is a bit of a vague thing. I will say Fi, being subjective, is more likely to share its POV with a group than Fe types.

FeNi (ENFJ) — Type in Mind this is ENFJ, the other Fe dom.
After reading this feel free to do similar to above and say whether you relate more to ESFJ or ENFJ. :)
 

Luigi

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@Crystal Winter Dream

"often jumping to a rather accurate conclusion about a person or situation without fully understanding why"
^ yes, I'm not good at explanations and if the other person doesn't understand what I mean, I don't know what to tell them :p

"Another facet of Ni as the first internally used function is that it makes FeNi’s very fluid-feeling inside—they have a sense that there might be “right” and “wrong” internally, but they are also able to easily look at opposing perspectives to understand how someone very different could think their own beliefs are right or wrong. They might get the sense that there are two simultaneous truths in this case—because something is true to them, while the opposite might be equally true to the other person."
^ absolutely, it's why I try to avoid imposing my beliefs on other people

"Although they might have strongly held beliefs or opinions about certain things, they might have the sense that the majority of their truth may not be universally true. They can clearly understand how someone reached a conclusion opposite from their own and have the sense that both conclusions are true somehow."
^ yes, it can make it hard to know what I believe about something

"FeNi’s use their Ni to intuitively know what needs to be done before it may even become a real issue. They tend to exhibit a natural foresight, anticipating needs 10 steps before others do. come from a perspective of looking 10 steps ahead of others, and can see the need before others do. They might even feel that people don’t appreciate what they do because they do something before the need is actually there. They might also refrain from taking an action they know someone needs because they don’t want to seem presumptuous."
^ exactly, although I don't know if I'm ten steps ahead of others, but I'm certainly way ahead of them in knowing what's going to happen, but sometimes I prefer to just wait and see without predicting anything

"They spend a lot of time thinking about future possibilities like their goals and aspirations."
^ not quite, I can get emotionally distracted by current circumstances that it's like "When will the future ever get here?" although I guess that just proves their point :alttongue:

"They might shut down in the face of debate—sometimes FeNi’s who are overly wary of the idea of debates turning sour can get into the habit of avoiding controversial subjects entirely"
^ usually yes, I hate arguing, either somebody understands/agrees or they don't, I think it's pointless to keep going on about the same thing when the people clearly don't understand/agree each other

"the FeNi might be the person who says, “Let’s learn how to fix the washer ourselves!” "
^ as long as there is a manual to follow, because I'm a slow learner on my own lol

"The FeNi isn’t bothered much by small details when it comes to having a great Se experience."
^ it's true, we don't need to figure out everything, just the overall plan
 
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Red Memories

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[MENTION=26104]Quint[/MENTION] lets go through this one.

"often jumping to a rather accurate conclusion about a person or situation without fully understanding why"
^ yes, I'm not good at explanations and if the other person doesn't understand what I mean, I don't know what to tell them :p <---- Fe and Ni work together in cool ways.

"Another facet of Ni as the first internally used function is that it makes FeNi’s very fluid-feeling inside—they have a sense that there might be “right” and “wrong” internally, but they are also able to easily look at opposing perspectives to understand how someone very different could think their own beliefs are right or wrong. They might get the sense that there are two simultaneous truths in this case—because something is true to them, while the opposite might be equally true to the other person."
^ absolutely, it's why I try to avoid imposing my beliefs on other people <----- FeNi also tends to look like a surface level Fi. xSFP tend to have a less rigid, you do you sort of Fi. xNFP tends to have a more rigid Fi, which still has the subjectivity but also feels their ideal world is well, the ideal world. XD

"Although they might have strongly held beliefs or opinions about certain things, they might have the sense that the majority of their truth may not be universally true. They can clearly understand how someone reached a conclusion opposite from their own and have the sense that both conclusions are true somehow."
^ yes, it can make it hard to know what I believe about something <----- This screams Fe. Mainly because you're looking for an external source.

"FeNi’s use their Ni to intuitively know what needs to be done before it may even become a real issue. They tend to exhibit a natural foresight, anticipating needs 10 steps before others do. come from a perspective of looking 10 steps ahead of others, and can see the need before others do. They might even feel that people don’t appreciate what they do because they do something before the need is actually there. They might also refrain from taking an action they know someone needs because they don’t want to seem presumptuous."
^ exactly, although I don't know if I'm ten steps ahead of others, but I'm certainly way ahead of them in knowing what's going to happen, but sometimes I prefer to just wait and see without predicting anything <---- Screams Ni.

"They spend a lot of time thinking about future possibilities like their goals and aspirations."
^ not quite, I can get emotionally distracted by current circumstances that it's like "When will the future ever get here?" although I guess that just proves their point <--- Ni/Ne are future oriented functions. I think this is where the Se plays into the Fe/Ni because Se is in the moment and wants action.

"They might shut down in the face of debate—sometimes FeNi’s who are overly wary of the idea of debates turning sour can get into the habit of avoiding controversial subjects entirely"
^ usually yes, I hate arguing, either somebody understands/agrees or they don't, I think it's pointless to keep going on about the same thing when the people clearly don't understand/agree each other <---- FeNi looking like Fi again.

"the FeNi might be the person who says, “Let’s learn how to fix the washer ourselves!” "
^ as long as there is a manual to follow, because I'm a slow learner on my own lol <----- How J of you. XD

"The FeNi isn’t bothered much by small details when it comes to having a great Se experience."
^ it's true, we don't need to figure out everything, just the overall plan <---- Well Se works there.

It appears you are more ENFJ > ESFJ? would you say so from reading? :)
 

Luigi

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@Crystal Winter Dream

oh boo, I ask myself both "How do others feel?" and "How do I feel?" and I can't tell which I ask more frequently :p

I think my consistency between what I say and do is more logical than ethical, like it's about some principle instead of being true to myself, so to speak.
So we're back to Fe/Ti instead of Fi/Te :p

a part of me wants to be ESTJ but there's no way that I'm dominant Te :alttongue:
 
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