PalebloodHunter
New member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2017
- Messages
- 120
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7
Hey everyone. I've gone through a tremendous shift in life and my mentality and perception of the world has changed incredibly. So as everyone else is doing it, I'm gonna chime in too.
Enneagram Tritype Questionnaire
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I have seen a vision of myself years down the line. Written it down with excruciating detail. I work everyday to come closer to that vision and make it a reality. Brick by another brick.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Power, I need more power. Enough that I could walk up to someone and hold a mirror in front of their face, show them the truth about themselves they refuse to acknowledge.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't ever want to be put in a position of weakness. Nor face a situation where I'm rendered helpless. The desire to have necessary tools at my disposal to tackle situation at hand is of my utmost importance.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Complacency and deviating from my vision, losing my own sense of identity. I've realized that I've wasted too much time pursuing things that could be influenced by external means. All I really need to focus on is becoming the best version of myself and everything else shall become a byproduct of this. If I lose myself, I lose everything.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
Honestly, don't really fucking care anymore. If I can see myself as awesome, I'm sure others can see it too. I do my best to help others but I can't control what they think of me, and I don't want to bother with things I can't control.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Walking up to strangers and getting to know them like we were best friends for 10 years or so. (Newly) my self-discipline schedule has me work on many non-negotiable things like writing, working out and cleaning up my diet. The feeling of looking back at myself and seeing improvement consistently feels better than sex (although, I have to reserve judgement since it has been a while
). What makes me feel like shit are those days when stories of incapability and past failures run circles around my head and reality falls congruent with it.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) Anger is when misguided expectations meet unexpected reality. So I feel like my expectations have been betrayed. (i act like a total nutcase when angry)
b) I lock myself up and feel like shit. Go into a deep retrospective mode with all the things i could have done differently.
c) I run circles in a room at great pace for hours without resting.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I work best under stress. I like to keep deadlines for myself and work towards it.
b) I might beat myself over it or be overjoyed, eitherways I think of it to be a part of my grand story.
c) I'm trying to work this up, I usually settle it with words and reach some sort of agreement. But, I really want to be more intimidating and not let people have their way.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I've lost too much of myself to authority and struggle with having it myself, now I crave for it.
b) Same as above.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
At the end of the day, it is much like a single playthrough of a videogame. You gain your experience, you play your part. You have fun. If you just persevere hard enough and do it just right, a good ending awaits at the end. A game is designed to be beaten, no matter how tough.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
When I first failed to get into the most prestigious university in my country (which has an acceptance rate of 1% and is the hardest undergrad entrance exam in the world). I was a cocky bastard who got into all bad habits because I hated my family back then. My dad would always insult me during PTA meetings while collecting my grade card ssaying nobody in family ever performed so badly. I never understood his behaviour considering neither mom nor him kept a close watch on me, only the beatings I received on failures. Both, my dad and brother got into this university. I scored 80 when the cutoff was 180. It was this when reality hit me. My family looked at me like i was some sort of a stain, even the extended family. I could feel everybody in neighbourhood asking about me. Worst yet, I saw people around me move forward with their life. Dad told me that he'd have to shell out cash as donation to get me into a random university, like he was doing me a favour. I was so sick of this treatment that I decided to take a year off. THat one year i locked myself in a room and studied 14 hours a day, without meeting anyone. Cutoff the next year was still 180, but this time i scored 280. I went to college and refused to call my parents. They think I'm an ungrateful son, but whatevs. The lesson I learnt was upon hitting rock-bottom, humans can fucking do anything.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
People trust me. And I have a problem trusting others easily. I need to work on making my image of people match closer to reality.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) Resilience. I like how I always come back as a stronger version of myself. I also like how my mindset changes so often rather than being locked to particular beliefs for long.
b) The long bouts of anxiety and depression over failure. My severe self-esteem issues that has me self-sabotaging some of the greatest things in life.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their sadness. Somehow I understand it and then they open up to me.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I don't care if a stranger insults me. Compliments are always welcome and then I'd end up in a long conversation with.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) The friend circle I have built. My charismatic presence, despite shaky and fleeting, helps me land up with most interesting encounters.
b) Unshakeable confidence and rock-solid self-esteem. I'm tired of losing shit just because of the internal story i keep telling myself that I'm not worth it. If that voice only stopped, I feel i could conquer anything.
Instinctual Variant Questionnaire
Self-Preservation (Need to protect and preserve)
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
I'm terrible with saving. But I lost my job and ended up being broke. So now, I understand its value.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
I'm rather stupid when it comes to security. I end up losing a lot of stuff because I do such dumb shit I do.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I'm consistent with my non-negotiables. Besides that, My life is a whirlwhind.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
I like taking risks, sometime for the f*** of it, especially if it ticks off my dad. I take that as a success by default. (Yeah i'm a horrible son lol)
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
About average.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
Yep.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Nope.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
I don't have a plan but a vision that I work towards everyday. Like a cathedral being built brick by brick. But, I am rarely ready for emergencies.
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
I like to look after health. My life errds on unsafe and I've embraced discomfort. I do love the comfort of home doe.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
I don't worry about what may go wrong until its too late and then i retrospect like crazy and realise that the reality I ended up with due to my dumb choices just so happened to be the worst case scenario.
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Just the important stuff. No more flab.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
Lmao. I can't take care of myself financially.
Social (Need for Social Validation)
1. Do you need or really like social validation?
Few months ago, this was a HUGE YES. Now, I'm closer to seeking validation just from myself. I've withdrawn from all social media sites cuz I realised i made all those witty posts and shit for the likes. It's gotten much better now.
2. Is social image important to you?
I'm at the rock-bottom right now, If it was, I'd be dead right now.
3. Do you have desires/fantasies of being rewarded in a social or public arena?
Yes. I do wanna have that diva moment.
4. Do you think about your affect on others, groups, organizations, and the world?
Yes.
5. Is it very important to you to look good in public, groups, work, and the world? Is name recognition important, either yours or others?
Yes, looking good makes me feel good. Feeling good makes me act good. Acting good is good. period.
6. Are you upset if you don't get enough validation, reward for the hard and creative work you do in a social context or for a social cause?
No more.
7. Are you involved in groups, organizations and team oriented activities?
Writing groups, etc. yes
8. Is belonging to special groups or being a leader of a group important to you?
Not ready to be the leader yet.
9. Are you strongly upset if you feel not included or rejected by a group or family or not invited to a social event?
I got a lot of stuff going right now, so no. Not really.
10. Do you make your money through your association with groups affecting a large number of people?
No.
11. Do you get really upset if you make a social faux pas? Do you think about and plan out how you will be or present yourself in public?
I tend to play it off well.
12. Are you the social instigator and connector in your family?
No.
Relationship (Need for 1 to 1 or Relationship Closeness)
1. Do you define yourself through a romantic or close partnership? Is closeness with another person of paramount importance?
Sadly ,yes.
2. Do you like intense energy, particularly in relating to people? Are you energized when you have a revealing conversation or engagement with another, particularly a special other?
Yep
3. Do you tend to focus more attention on close relationships than money?
Yeah...
4. Does money relate to how a partner will see you more than security for yourself?
The latter. I'm a writer, lmao.
5. Are money and resources less for self and more to please an intimate other?
Self.
6. Does your attention go more to how well you relate to a partner or potential partner than to other concerns?
It used to. Now, I'm more focused on people's concerns. Relate with people well and you will inevitably relate with your partner.
7. Would others describe you as dramatic? Do you like to go deep with things?
Eyup. I like me some theatrics.
8. Do you tend to be in the moment and not think as much about the future or your future security?
Yep.
9. Do you have an urge to merge? Do you "lose yourself" with an important other at times?
Yes.
10. Do you like risk taking? New experiences? Tend to get bored without enough stimulation particularly in the area of relationships?
Yep.
11. Are you focused more on connection with another and forget your own priorities?
Used to happen a lot previously. Which is why I ended up creating a list of non-negotiables.
12. Do you focus a lot on sexuality, romantic fantasies or mystical spiritual experiences?
Totes.
Enneagram Tritype Questionnaire
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I have seen a vision of myself years down the line. Written it down with excruciating detail. I work everyday to come closer to that vision and make it a reality. Brick by another brick.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Power, I need more power. Enough that I could walk up to someone and hold a mirror in front of their face, show them the truth about themselves they refuse to acknowledge.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't ever want to be put in a position of weakness. Nor face a situation where I'm rendered helpless. The desire to have necessary tools at my disposal to tackle situation at hand is of my utmost importance.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Complacency and deviating from my vision, losing my own sense of identity. I've realized that I've wasted too much time pursuing things that could be influenced by external means. All I really need to focus on is becoming the best version of myself and everything else shall become a byproduct of this. If I lose myself, I lose everything.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
Honestly, don't really fucking care anymore. If I can see myself as awesome, I'm sure others can see it too. I do my best to help others but I can't control what they think of me, and I don't want to bother with things I can't control.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Walking up to strangers and getting to know them like we were best friends for 10 years or so. (Newly) my self-discipline schedule has me work on many non-negotiable things like writing, working out and cleaning up my diet. The feeling of looking back at myself and seeing improvement consistently feels better than sex (although, I have to reserve judgement since it has been a while
). What makes me feel like shit are those days when stories of incapability and past failures run circles around my head and reality falls congruent with it.7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) Anger is when misguided expectations meet unexpected reality. So I feel like my expectations have been betrayed. (i act like a total nutcase when angry)
b) I lock myself up and feel like shit. Go into a deep retrospective mode with all the things i could have done differently.
c) I run circles in a room at great pace for hours without resting.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I work best under stress. I like to keep deadlines for myself and work towards it.
b) I might beat myself over it or be overjoyed, eitherways I think of it to be a part of my grand story.
c) I'm trying to work this up, I usually settle it with words and reach some sort of agreement. But, I really want to be more intimidating and not let people have their way.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I've lost too much of myself to authority and struggle with having it myself, now I crave for it.
b) Same as above.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
At the end of the day, it is much like a single playthrough of a videogame. You gain your experience, you play your part. You have fun. If you just persevere hard enough and do it just right, a good ending awaits at the end. A game is designed to be beaten, no matter how tough.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
When I first failed to get into the most prestigious university in my country (which has an acceptance rate of 1% and is the hardest undergrad entrance exam in the world). I was a cocky bastard who got into all bad habits because I hated my family back then. My dad would always insult me during PTA meetings while collecting my grade card ssaying nobody in family ever performed so badly. I never understood his behaviour considering neither mom nor him kept a close watch on me, only the beatings I received on failures. Both, my dad and brother got into this university. I scored 80 when the cutoff was 180. It was this when reality hit me. My family looked at me like i was some sort of a stain, even the extended family. I could feel everybody in neighbourhood asking about me. Worst yet, I saw people around me move forward with their life. Dad told me that he'd have to shell out cash as donation to get me into a random university, like he was doing me a favour. I was so sick of this treatment that I decided to take a year off. THat one year i locked myself in a room and studied 14 hours a day, without meeting anyone. Cutoff the next year was still 180, but this time i scored 280. I went to college and refused to call my parents. They think I'm an ungrateful son, but whatevs. The lesson I learnt was upon hitting rock-bottom, humans can fucking do anything.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
People trust me. And I have a problem trusting others easily. I need to work on making my image of people match closer to reality.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) Resilience. I like how I always come back as a stronger version of myself. I also like how my mindset changes so often rather than being locked to particular beliefs for long.
b) The long bouts of anxiety and depression over failure. My severe self-esteem issues that has me self-sabotaging some of the greatest things in life.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their sadness. Somehow I understand it and then they open up to me.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I don't care if a stranger insults me. Compliments are always welcome and then I'd end up in a long conversation with.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) The friend circle I have built. My charismatic presence, despite shaky and fleeting, helps me land up with most interesting encounters.
b) Unshakeable confidence and rock-solid self-esteem. I'm tired of losing shit just because of the internal story i keep telling myself that I'm not worth it. If that voice only stopped, I feel i could conquer anything.
Instinctual Variant Questionnaire
Self-Preservation (Need to protect and preserve)
1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?
I'm terrible with saving. But I lost my job and ended up being broke. So now, I understand its value.
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?
I'm rather stupid when it comes to security. I end up losing a lot of stuff because I do such dumb shit I do.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?
I'm consistent with my non-negotiables. Besides that, My life is a whirlwhind.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?
I like taking risks, sometime for the f*** of it, especially if it ticks off my dad. I take that as a success by default. (Yeah i'm a horrible son lol)
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?
About average.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?
Yep.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?
Nope.
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?
I don't have a plan but a vision that I work towards everyday. Like a cathedral being built brick by brick. But, I am rarely ready for emergencies.
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?
I like to look after health. My life errds on unsafe and I've embraced discomfort. I do love the comfort of home doe.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?
I don't worry about what may go wrong until its too late and then i retrospect like crazy and realise that the reality I ended up with due to my dumb choices just so happened to be the worst case scenario.
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?
Just the important stuff. No more flab.
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?
Lmao. I can't take care of myself financially.
Social (Need for Social Validation)
1. Do you need or really like social validation?
Few months ago, this was a HUGE YES. Now, I'm closer to seeking validation just from myself. I've withdrawn from all social media sites cuz I realised i made all those witty posts and shit for the likes. It's gotten much better now.
2. Is social image important to you?
I'm at the rock-bottom right now, If it was, I'd be dead right now.
3. Do you have desires/fantasies of being rewarded in a social or public arena?
Yes. I do wanna have that diva moment
.4. Do you think about your affect on others, groups, organizations, and the world?
Yes.
5. Is it very important to you to look good in public, groups, work, and the world? Is name recognition important, either yours or others?
Yes, looking good makes me feel good. Feeling good makes me act good. Acting good is good. period.
6. Are you upset if you don't get enough validation, reward for the hard and creative work you do in a social context or for a social cause?
No more.
7. Are you involved in groups, organizations and team oriented activities?
Writing groups, etc. yes
8. Is belonging to special groups or being a leader of a group important to you?
Not ready to be the leader yet.
9. Are you strongly upset if you feel not included or rejected by a group or family or not invited to a social event?
I got a lot of stuff going right now, so no. Not really.
10. Do you make your money through your association with groups affecting a large number of people?
No.
11. Do you get really upset if you make a social faux pas? Do you think about and plan out how you will be or present yourself in public?
I tend to play it off well.
12. Are you the social instigator and connector in your family?
No.
Relationship (Need for 1 to 1 or Relationship Closeness)
1. Do you define yourself through a romantic or close partnership? Is closeness with another person of paramount importance?
Sadly ,yes.
2. Do you like intense energy, particularly in relating to people? Are you energized when you have a revealing conversation or engagement with another, particularly a special other?
Yep
3. Do you tend to focus more attention on close relationships than money?
Yeah...
4. Does money relate to how a partner will see you more than security for yourself?
The latter. I'm a writer, lmao.
5. Are money and resources less for self and more to please an intimate other?
Self.
6. Does your attention go more to how well you relate to a partner or potential partner than to other concerns?
It used to. Now, I'm more focused on people's concerns. Relate with people well and you will inevitably relate with your partner.
7. Would others describe you as dramatic? Do you like to go deep with things?
Eyup. I like me some theatrics.
8. Do you tend to be in the moment and not think as much about the future or your future security?
Yep.
9. Do you have an urge to merge? Do you "lose yourself" with an important other at times?
Yes.
10. Do you like risk taking? New experiences? Tend to get bored without enough stimulation particularly in the area of relationships?
Yep.
11. Are you focused more on connection with another and forget your own priorities?
Used to happen a lot previously. Which is why I ended up creating a list of non-negotiables.
12. Do you focus a lot on sexuality, romantic fantasies or mystical spiritual experiences?
Totes.
